Why Labels Are Keeping You Stuck

Have you ever thought about how labels shape your life? In this episode, I share how the labels we use—like "perfectionist," "anxious," or "people pleaser"—might be keeping you stuck in patterns that no longer serve you. I’ll walk you through the surprising ways these labels limit your potential, create a fixed mindset, and even reinforce negative self-talk. Join me to explore simple but powerful steps to break free from these labels and embrace habits that empower growth and change, uncovering a new way to see yourself and start creating the life you truly deserve!

In this episode, I cover the following:
1. How self-imposed labels can keep you stuck and limit your personal growth.
2. The hidden downsides of labeling yourself and how it affects your mindset and behaviors.
3. Practical steps to replace limiting labels with empowering habits and descriptive language.

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💗 Dr. Steph
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www.brave-method.com

Chapters

• 0:03 Breaking Free From Limiting Labels
• 13:55 Breaking Free From Anxiety Labels

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

I'm Dr Steph and I want you to know that you do not have to suffer from anxiety or explosive emotional reactions like lashing out. You are not, in fact, broken and I'm going to show you how to have the ultimate control over your reactions so that you are unstoppable. Welcome to the Broken to Brave podcast. Welcome to the Broken to Brave podcast, welcome back. Quick shout out to AT for leaving a review. She said I love listening to Stephanie's perceptions. It really helps me reflect internally and continue to grow. You'll learn so much about yourself in this podcast. Thank you so much, at. I'm happy to hear that and I appreciate you for taking time to leave a review too.

Speaker 1: 0:54

I'm curious if you, listening to the podcast, have had an aha moment or a shift in the way that you think about something. Leave a review, let us know. This is really important because it actually helps women just like you find the podcast and get the support that they need, and I've heard over and over again from people oh my gosh, I had no idea that help like this existed and I don't want anybody to feel that way and feel stuck in their struggles. Speaking of feeling stuck in your struggles, do you want to stay stuck in your struggles? Yeah, I didn't think so. Make sure that today you listen closely and reflect afterward on your own patterns. We're going to dive into that in a few minutes, but first I wanted to share with you that I had a meeting with a client yesterday and she said you know, I never noticed this before, but ever since you mentioned that people say I'm just an anxious person I hear it everywhere now and I giggled a little bit almost immediately and I was like, yeah, I know, it's very, very common for people to put themselves in a category or in a bucket, and today I want to talk about why that's not such a good thing. After this meeting with the client, I got on a what the F was Steph call with several ladies inside Brave Academy. If you don't know, those are supportive small group coaching calls that are designed to help you see your blind spots so that you can overcome your struggles. We had several ladies that just joined in the last week on the call, and so it was their very first one, and it was really fascinating to see how helpful having an expert witness, how you're talking about yourself and witness your struggles and be able to give you the feedback From my point of view. I heard a very similar question over and over again, but those ladies have been so stuck in their struggle they didn't yet realize the similarity between themselves and other people, so being able to get that feedback was great. Now I want to share one of the main things that I noticed. When they spoke up, they were all heavily labeling themselves.

Speaker 1: 3:35

Today, I want to talk about what labels you may be using without even realizing it. Now I pointed this out to each person who spoke up, and others and those individuals continued using it. Now, that's normal when people first get into the program, and it's probably happening for you too. And if you're using those labels, you're actually limiting, limiting your personal growth. That is not what you want, is it Okay? First, it makes sense that you label yourself. Your mind likes to automatically bucket things and categorize things in order to save time, energy and effort. So in general, it's okay, but when it comes to your growth, it is limiting.

Speaker 1: 4:26

We'll talk about a few super common labels that people put on themselves People pleaser, perfectionist, control freak, anxious, procrastinator, sensitive, overthinker. Have you used any of these labels when talking about yourself, when talking about your children, when talking about your partner or even a friend. Again, people pleaser, perfectionist, control freak, anxious, procrastinator, sensitive, overthinker. This is not like a comprehensive list, but these are some of the most common labels that women put on themselves and others, especially when they resonate with the topics that I discuss. Now, if you are, I don't want you to judge yourself or shame yourself. I just want you to notice. Notice how often you're labeling yourself, notice how often you're labeling others. And now I'm going to talk about what is the downside of that, because up to this point you may have felt like it was harmless, like who does use label stuff? Everybody, I know I get it. I could probably be caught from time to time using my own labels, and it's super important to step out of that if you do not want to stay stuck.

Speaker 1: 6:03

Let's talk about a few downsides. First, labels really oversimplify the human experience. No one single label fully encapsulates who you are, and when you label yourself, you really make you reduce your identity, you narrow it and overlook all of the other aspects of your personality and your potential. For instance, let's say that two people were labeled maybe by somebody else or maybe by themselves, as overthinkers. When we look at them side by side, they're not going to be the same person. So that's what I mean by it really narrows who you are and overlooks all of the other pieces. Number two they can and really really often do become self-fulfilling prophecies.

Speaker 1: 7:03

When you identify strongly with that label, you may unconsciously behave in ways that reinforce it, even when it's not serving you. Some of what I share with clients is when you're speaking, your subconscious mind is listening and it is actively creating who you say you are. So if you don't want to continue being anxious or a procrastinator or an overthinker, using the label is essentially choosing to keep yourself stuck. Labels often also limit growth in that way. Have you ever heard of fixed mindset versus growth mindset? That's what we're talking about here. Labels actually create a fixed mindset, meaning if you believe I'm just a perfectionist or I'm always anxious, or I'm always anxious, you may feel powerless to change and to grow. Beyond that, they also encourage negative self-talk. Many labels can perpetuate this cycle of self-criticism shame and that can damage your self-esteem and your emotional health. Number five it can also lead to an avoidance of responsibility, and if you've worked with me, you know how much I emphasize taking accountability, taking ownership, taking responsibility.

Speaker 1: 8:33

Labels can often be used as excuses. Well, I'm just bad with boundaries, I'm just an anxious person, okay. So let's talk about the boundaries one for a second. If you say I'm just bad with boundaries, that might stop you from taking action to actually improve your relationships. Improve how you use boundaries and when you use them. I'll share a simple one that I hear all the time I'm just bad at remembering names. If you keep telling yourself that you're bad, you're going to stay bad at that thing. Do you want to avoid responsibility? No, if you were raised, if you resonate with being raised by an emotionally immature parent or a narcissistic parent or a toxic parent, probably your experience was that they avoided responsibility often, and I know you don't want to act like that.

Speaker 1: 9:29

The next one is the labels can actually increase anxiety or even guilt. Think about the label of overthinker. That can result in judging yourself and then cause guilt for things that you quote unquote should be doing, or embarrassment or shame for how you perceive yourself. The next one is labels don't allow for flexibility. If you think about you as a human and how you were when you were 10 versus how you are at 40, you are different. Your identity is different. Your behaviors are different that's what I mean by identity and behaviors are fluid, they're flexible, so when you cling to a label, it can prevent you from embracing changes that you are very capable of.

Speaker 1: 10:22

Last one I want to mention as a downside to using labels is that they identify you by your struggles, not by your strengths. Many labels you've noticed the ones that I've mentioned they're actually highlighting flaws, they're highlighting weaknesses and really overshadowing those positive parts of your identity, your personality, and just reinforce that deficit, deficit mindset. So what are you going to do instead? Very first thing is notice yourself, notice your language and if you're around somebody that you can trust maybe a best friend, co-worker, a partner bring them in on this and say hey, I'm trying to catch myself when I use labels. Can you help me do that? If you hear me say things like I'm just a perfectionist, I'm just an anxious person, and I'm sure if there's somebody that loves you and you love them and they trust you and you trust them, they're going to be willing to do that.

Speaker 1: 11:32

Now what, after you identify it, can you do instead, instead of using the label, use descriptive language. So, for example, when you say I'm a perfectionist, what are you actually talking about you might be talking about. Sometimes I feel really driven to get things perfect, or sometimes I really struggle when I make a mistake. You see how that's much more descriptive. That really helps you understand what is actually happening here versus just slapping on a label.

Speaker 1: 12:11

Also, focus on the behavior, not the identity. So, for example, rather than saying I'm a people pleaser, what is the behavior? I have a tendency to say yes even when I want to say no. That's an example. Or I have a tendency to not put up a boundary, even when I kind of want to Embrace growth. I think that you get that from this episode. But view behaviors simply as habits. What if you looked at it as I just have a habit of feeling nervous before I travel versus I'm just an anxious person, I can't travel? How freeing can that feel? Or I just have a habit of saying yes before I give myself time to think about what do I actually want? View it as a habit, rather that you can change, because you can change any habit, rather than viewing it as, like that, fixed part of your identity.

Speaker 1: 13:16

And then the last piece that I want to mention today is, as you do this, practice self-compassion. Recognize that your struggles without judging yourself for it. And if you judge yourself, then have compassion for judging yourself. Oh my gosh, I'm human. I just judged myself, even though Steph said not to. We don't have to judge and then judge again for judging ourselves. Recognize those things that are coming up while setting aside that judgment, and remind yourself you are more than any single label, trait or behavior.

Speaker 1: 13:55

Now, inside Brave Academy, I dive into this in greater detail so that you can feel free of these labels and experience rapid change and growth, so that you feel free, at ease, calm and present. Now start listening, like I said, to how you talk about yourself. To what extent are you using labels and what shift are you going to make in yourself? And if you want support in that, send me a DM with the word Academy and I'm happy to chat more to see if you're a good fit to work together. All right, I'll see you next week. Have a wonderful week. Thank you so much for listening today. Are you ready to finally heal and break free from anxiety, including symptoms like replaying interactions, fearing, making mistakes, imagining worst case scenarios and constant worrying? If so, dm me the word free on Instagram at Dr Stephanie Lopez and I will send you a link to my completely free class to officially ditch anxiety.