Why to Have Hard Convos

Are you avoiding tough talks because you're afraid they'll go wrong? In this episode, I challenge you to rethink your approach to difficult discussions. Discover how shifting your intentions and redefining success can transform these conversations from dreaded encounters into opportunities for growth and self-respect. Learn why speaking up for yourself is a victory in itself, regardless of the outcome.

In this episode, I cover the following:
1. The importance of examining your intentions before difficult conversations.
2. The value of speaking up for yourself and honoring your needs.
3. Letting go of controlling outcomes and others' responses.

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💗 Dr. Steph
@DrStephanieLopez
www.brave-method.com

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

I'm Dr Steph and I want you to know that you do not have to suffer from anxiety or explosive emotional reactions like lashing out. You are not, in fact, broken and I'm going to show you how to have the ultimate control over your reactions so that you are unstoppable. Welcome to the Broken to brave podcast. Welcome back, oh my gosh. If you've been listening to the podcast for a while, you know that I like to start it off like that, but every now and then I don't why, honestly, just to mix it up. But I had a meeting with a client last Thursday and they were like why don't you say that Sometimes I really miss it. So I wasn't sure if I was being annoying, but I was like this is my thing. So you may keep hearing it for a while, now that I've gotten positive feedback about it. I'm just kidding. I've got a real quick episode for you today and I'm excited to share this with you because it's something that I've noticed that has come up quite a bit over the years with clients and people who are not clients.

Speaker 1: 1:21

What I want you to do is pause for a moment and think about a hard conversation that you have been avoiding or that you had, but it did not go well. Maybe it's with your partner, one of your friends, a coworker, a family member. Pause and think about one for a moment. Do you have it Okay? What was your intention going into that conversation? You know how, when you're driving and you want to go over the next lane, so you put your blinker on, so the car knows what your intention is. What was your intention for that conversation?

Speaker 1: 2:09

All too often, when I sit with clients and we are working on framing up a hard conversation, they have a realization that their intention is one or both of what I'm about to say, that their intention is actually to be right or to convince the other person to see things the way they see them. And I want you to be really honest with yourself right now. How often has your intention for conversations been one of those two things to be right or to convince the other person to see things your way? Truly, how often? And if you're sitting there listening and you're thinking, okay, I actually feel really called out right now, I get you, I've been there and it's so, so common and at the same time, not helpful, because when you sit and you pause and you think long enough, it doesn't make anyone in the conversation feel good. I mean, come on, think about when somebody else approaches you that way. How have you felt? Probably not seen, probably not heard, am I right?

Speaker 1: 3:26

Circling back to that conversation that you thought about a minute or two ago. Up to this point, would it have felt like a I'll do air quotes failure if you weren't seen as right or if the other person didn't see things your way. By the end of that conversation, would you have felt like, oh, like, why did I even bother having it? That was a failure. What a waste of time. I hear that a lot and I get that, but how is that working for you? Is that helping you feel more connected to the people around you?

Speaker 1: 4:03

No, what I want to offer you today is a new way to show up in the world. Want to offer you today is a new way to show up in the world. What if you considered it a success by simply having the conversation, if you simply honor yourself enough to ask for what you want, no matter how the other person shows up, what they say, if they think that you're wrong, if they see anything differently? What if the goal and the measure of success is simply. I spoke up for myself. I asked for what I wanted. I honored that internal pull to have the conversation. I'm going to tell you this it is success because so often especially if you resonate with the things that I talk about on this podcast, you probably will also resonate with this. You tend to ignore yourself. Okay, I want you to sit with that for a minute and like, oh, okay, that kind of feels true, I feel called out again.

Speaker 1: 5:10

What would change for you if you were proud of yourself for simply having the conversation and honoring yourself and speaking up for yourself? I'll say this I felt more and more when I moved in that direction. It felt more magical. Honestly, I'm like, oh my gosh, if I just ask for what I want and I let go of trying to control the outcome and try to control how the other person responds and feels, I can still feel good about it this week. What I want you to do is I want you to have at least one conversation from this mindset and then send me a DM on Instagram and let me know how it goes for you. All right, that's it for today. I will see you next week. Thank you so much for listening today. Are you ready to finally heal and break free from anxiety, including symptoms like replaying interactions, fearing, making mistakes, imagining worst case scenarios and constant worrying? If so, dm me the word free on Instagram at Dr Stephanie Lopez and I will send you a link to my completely free class to officially ditch anxiety.