Broken to Brave | Guiding you to heal & break free from anxiety

Transforming Fear and Embracing Growth with Diane Gatza

• Dr. Stephanie Lopez • Episode 54

Share episode

Ever wondered how confronting your fears can transform both your personal and professional life? Today I sit down with the inspiring Diane Gatza, an entrepreneur and mother who shares her journey at the BRAVEcation Healing Retreat. We dive into the emotional resilience and mental strength required to navigate the ups and downs of running a business, and the critical role of inner work and intuition in making impactful decisions.

Fear of failure and apprehension about feedback can paralyze even the most driven individuals. I share my own experience, what helped me confront these fears, and the remarkable ripple effect it had on my life. By changing our relationship with fear, we can foster both personal and professional growth, leading to more grounded and confident decision-making. 

In this episode, we talk about the following:
1. Diane's journey of personal growth and entrepreneurship.
2. Confronting fears and embracing the concept of feeling safe within discomfort.
3. Diane's evolving definition of success, focusing on impact and service over financial gain.

You can connect with Diane on:
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/californiamaternityleave/
Website https://www.californiamaternityleave.com/

______________________________________

[FREE TRAINING]
How high-achieving women can
DITCH anxiety in as little as five minutes a day
www.brave-method.com/anxiety

Which of these results do you want and inspire you the most?
www.brave-method.com/testimonials

💗 Dr. Steph
@DrStephanieLopez
www.brave-method.com




Speaker 1:

Hi, I'm Dr Steph and I'm here to guide you on your journey to healing from a difficult relationship with your mother, whether she was narcissistic, emotionally immature or just plain toxic. I want you to know that you are in fact not broken and you do not have to suffer from anxiety or explosive emotional reactions like lashing out. You can break the cycle. You are a strong, capable woman who can handle any challenge that comes your way, and I'm gonna show you how to have the ultimate control over your reactions so that you are unstoppable. Welcome to the Broken to Brave podcast. Welcome back. I am so excited for today's episode. Today I have Diane Gatza here and I'm interviewing her about her most recent experience at the Bravecation Healing Retreat. Oh, welcome.

Speaker 2:

Thank you. At first, when you were like welcome back, I was like, yeah, it feels good to be back on the, and then you're like talking to my listeners.

Speaker 1:

I love it. I love it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'm excited, yeah, and I'm excited to just kind of share, yeah, my perspective and so many great things that happened at the retreat. I love it.

Speaker 1:

First just tell me a little bit about who you are, so everyone can get familiar with you, what you do, and then we'll dive into Bravecation.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so I'm Diane Gatsa and I'm a mom of two and a wife. I live in California and I run my own business helping women maximize their maternity leave benefits here in the state of California, soon to expand across the United States. We're in the process of expanding but I really got familiar with you, know staff and all of your work through entrepreneurship and running our own businesses and things like that.

Speaker 2:

And then we kind of became friends and, uh, you know, I just love the work and I was really driven or drawn, drawn into the work on like working on myself through being a business owner, right, I feel like. I tell everybody there's no faster fast track to growth than starting your own business. It challenges every way. I think about everything the decisions I make, the stories I have in my head about what's going on oh my gosh, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, same. Okay, I think about what has been the thing that was the biggest personal development experience, and it was hands down entrepreneurship. Not becoming a mom yeah, not my career, not grad school being an entrepreneur. If you want to fast track your personal development, your healing journey, this is the way yeah.

Speaker 2:

I mean I don't. Yeah, I mean I went to engineering way. Yeah, I mean I don't. Yeah, I mean I went to engineering school. Right, I've done hard things. I had cancer in my life, went through chemotherapy in college, like I've been through a lot of hard stuff that presumably should have probably broken me open and allowed me to sort of do more of that discovery, but it wasn't the right time.

Speaker 2:

On my journey, as you and I both talk about, about, like you know, everybody's ready at their own time and, uh, you know, worked a successful career, climbing the ladder, and then now like, yeah, having kids, postpartum depression, anxiety, my life all changed, hard beings, but then deciding like, hey, I want a different life for myself and that life is more freedom, more doing what I want to do on my own timeline, my own schedule, running my own schedule, running my own business, helping, being of service, you know, just kind of doing something different. And then shifting into that was, like you know, it took a while to like get the courage to leave, you know, a job, a successful career, but once in it to make decisions as a business owner, it can be crippling, it can be paralyzing, it can. There's so much fear. It's not a paycheck right, you know, and a lot of, I'd say, like emotional gymnastics and like mental fortitude to keep forging ahead and like staying, you know, staying.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I so. I don't. I don't think I've ever talked about this on the podcast, but I'm a fourth generation entrepreneur, although I never intended on being an entrepreneur. And I've heard so many times over the years, before I opened my own business, how many businesses fail, like a super, super high percentage. I don't know the number off the top of my head and I was always curious about that. I'm like what is this? Why does so many fail? And then now I am certain that a very big reason is because those people do not do inner work.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, Think about how many decisions we make every day. Yeah, there's nobody to check in with. Like to make sure that's the quote, unquote, right decision, which now I know that's a bunch of hogwash.

Speaker 1:

There's no right decision. It's just a series of decisions in life with outcomes.

Speaker 2:

I love that you said that. Yeah, and the outcomes sometimes they're what we want Sometimes they're not.

Speaker 2:

And it's like can I cope with the outcomes that aren't the ones I want? Yes, and like we can always shift and pivot. And, looking at entrepreneurship, I think it's fabulous that you're a fourth generation entrepreneur and like it's the path. And then also asking the question yeah, why does everybody say 90% of businesses fail? I remember so terrified leaving you know really well-paying career and going into entrepreneurship and I was thinking, oh my God, am I going to be one of those ones that fails Like and now?

Speaker 1:

I just wonder.

Speaker 2:

I'm not saying like everybody is going to be like a wild fire success. I don't know, maybe everybody is. But now I kind of wonder like is it just the crippling, the anxiety, the fears, the level and the number of just sheer decisions and like the impact that those carry with them moving forward and, you know, learning to trust my own intuition? You know, and I think we've talked about this a lot, like on the side, just personally, like it's a big part of decision making in business, if I know now if I'm following somebody else's roadmap that's the first way to failure, for me Like if I'm following my own intuition and it makes no sense to everybody else and everybody's like what the heck are you doing?

Speaker 2:

I'm like I am on the right path, like that's where I've had all of my successes. But it takes a lot of emotional stability. It takes. It takes ability to see fear and say I'm still going to keep moving forward and I can cope with the outcomes and I can, like you know, keep moving yet on that intuition path to where the success, at least for me, has been. And like that's a big part of the, the emotional work Right and you can follow the Forbes people in the magazines or the entrepreneur magazines and whatever. You can see all these like overnight successes. Nobody's overnight success. I don't believe in that. I'm sure you know that. Like people have big breaks but they've been like working slave and away in their basement for 10 years before they had their you know overnight success or whatever.

Speaker 2:

But yeah, I have a lot of thoughts on it. But I mean, I just I feel like seeing that I never thought it was possible for me, because it seemed like everybody was like super successful. And I'm like, no, like there are other people out there just starting up pizzerias down the corner there's always a new sushi restaurant by my house Like there's people going, like there are gardeners, like there are people that are just starting their own businesses at all times. And I'm like now I see that and I just see a lot of courageous people around the earth and I'm like, wow, that is so powerful and so beautiful. And somebody came to me and said Diane, I want to sell poop at the market in a plastic bags. And that's my, my vision for my entrepreneurial endeavor.

Speaker 2:

I would be like it's not for me. Right, it's not my intuitive path, not my intuition, but I would say, okay, girl, how do we find bags that, like, eliminate the smell, like let's fold it over, like let's see if we could get a manufacturing plant that will do this with. Like I would, because I just think it takes so much courage to put an innovative idea out there that you feel called to do, especially if nobody's doing it, or even if a lot of people are doing it.

Speaker 2:

Whatever you know, you know only we can do what we're here to do in this lifetime our own way, our own unique way. I think it takes a lot of courage to step out and say I'm gonna do it my way, I want to do this thing, and you're gonna hear a lot of people. We hear a lot of people. I hear a lot of people like, oh, that's not gonna work, or what are you doing? Or why are you quitting your job? The golden handcuffs, all the things. A lot of courage to keep keep moving forward and there is success out there, you know?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely, and I love that you brought this up, because I'm sure that someone is listening to this podcast episode today who has big dreams or who's early in their entrepreneurship journey and needed to hear this, and I know it's a big part of why you did inner work, so let's talk about that a little bit. When you were coming to Bravecation in February, was there anything that went into why you decided to come, like anything in particular that was happening for you?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean, we were at a stage. So, you know, I run this maternity leave consulting firm here in California, right, and, uh, we run a course. We have, you know, one-on-one consulting, we do ads, we do social media, like we have a lot of different things always happening and every there's different revenues being generated every month and it's coming from different places every month. And, as you and I talk about, businesses are living, breathing organisms. They're not machines. I mean, you can build a machine, like you should build something that is like replicatable, it has sops and there's structure to it, right, but it's still an amoeba and it's still flexing and growing and there needs to be creativity and innovation.

Speaker 2:

And I went into the retreat, uh, with a lot of fears around expanding, around growth. Uh, I had like a deep seated fear that somebody was going to come and like unseat me from what I'm doing and like steal my business and I'm going to be on the street. But not even I'm gonna be on the street. That was not my fear. My fear was that I'd have to go back and work for somebody again. Yes, like that was my big fear that I'd have to go back to corporate land yeah, work for somebody again and that I would never have another idea that, like God, would never give me another idea to be successful with. So I had these fears and sometimes those fears would prevent me from showing up on my social media, from talking about what I do, from like making offers to people to like putting myself out there and being willing to keep expanding. Because as we expand at least for myself as a business owner the more I expand, the more I put myself out there, the more you you are soliciting feedback.

Speaker 1:

Subjecting yourself to feedback? Yes, subjecting it? Yeah, I'm not soliciting for it, I don't want it, I don't want feedback, but that's another piece that I look.

Speaker 2:

Look, I used to struggle getting with getting feedback and I still. It's something I'm still working on right, like giving feedback to others and then also receiving feedback from people and whatnot, but it was such a crippling fear that was like, okay, if I'm really going to be taking this business to where I want it to go, the vision I have for it, the level of impact we're going to be creating, I need to be putting myself out there.

Speaker 2:

And if I'm not okay receiving feedback from random, faceless strangers or if I'm afraid of somebody, saying something negative to me or if I'm like afraid that somebody is going to be like, oh, I like what this lady's doing and I'm just going to like try to steal her whole idea and like you know, somehow I'm going to not have a company anymore that I run, then I'm not going to put myself out there, right, I could easily justify it on a subconscious level to not grow because it's not safe. It didn't feel safe. So I went into the retreat with a lot of this and we were already successful. The business was profitable, we were making money and we were also at this precipice in our lives with my family, with is my husband going to leave his job? And we had thought he was gonna leave in like January this year.

Speaker 2:

And then I got cold feet. Yeah, I pulled the plug on it. I was like I can't, we can't. Like my husband was ready to go. He had like a letter dropped and we had a date. Yeah, I can't. I freaked out. I was like I can't, no, it's not safe. And then, you know, I went into the retreat this year and I feel like a lot of the pieces that came up for me were around safety in the business. And then when I left the retreat. Yeah, I, the first thing we did when I got back, like the next day we're like laying in bed after the kids went to sleep and I was like it's time, like it's safe, you can, you can leave, you know.

Speaker 2:

And he was like and nothing changed nothing but you exactly inner, like the internal state of where I was making that decision from, finally felt at peace, I felt safe. I felt like the stories and the anxiety and the fears, like they were still there, but I could now see them for what they were and they weren't driving the decision anymore. And so now the decision was coming from the place of peace, the place of intuition, the place of knowing this is our path, yeah, and being able to like step into it. And then I mean what the retreat was, the end of February. Then he put in his notice March, march, like 15, like a month, like four weeks later. And then now he's, he left his job on April 5th. That was his last day in the office.

Speaker 1:

Exciting. I'm so proud of you, by the way, and you know, this happens a lot for people where so many fears come up, so much anxiety, and and then sometimes people feel like, well, I should like be analyzing this and I should be weighing pros and cons and I I you know should really be thinking this through. But the thing is, is that when we're operating from fear, our prefrontal cortex, or the part of our brain that does the higher level thinking, the creative, the innovative, all of that is in freaking Tahiti? It is not present. And then I mean I know I'm preaching to the choir, but like, are you going to make a good decision when operating from fear? No, no.

Speaker 1:

And so so much of this work is and this might sound weird to people listening, or maybe you'll you'll resonate with this it's changing your relationship with fear. It's not like, well, in order to act, in order to move, in order to for you, diane, to for my husband to leave, I just can't be afraid at all. You said it's still there. I'm just looking at it differently. Afraid at all. You said it's still there. I'm just looking at it differently, I'm relating to it differently. So tell me, was, was there anything that happened at the retreat, that like I don't know if there were any moments in particular where you're like woo, that like really shifted something for me.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, there, there were several, and I remember one specifically just doing like a visualization that you ran for all of us and understanding one of the big fears I had in my business was that I needed to be so successful, I needed to win. And what does that even mean? Right, like, what does that even mean? Like that means, like it it's. I just remember having this visualization of me as a small child and like reaching up for a trophy, like trying to get out of like this, like weird cesspool-y water and, by the way, I have very like expressive visualizations yeah, everybody listening and I was like in this weird gross water and I was like trying to reach up and grab this trophy, almost like the trophy was going to save me from having to sit in the whatever this murky water was, this discomfort and sitting in with myself, a lot of other things that success winning is going to like save me, and it just felt like I let go of the trophy.

Speaker 2:

I remember and I like just sat in this process, fully water, and I remember feeling like there was like a bubble around me, like it's safe to be in it, it's safe to sit in it, and I remember thinking so much of my life is like I don't want to feel the fear, I don't want to feel the anxiety, I don't want to feel the shame, I don't want to feel the guilt, I don't want to think about that. Can I just feel better, can I just move to a better state? Like't we just, okay, just move on and like, forget about that, whatever. And in that moment I remember being like it's safe to be in it and it doesn't have to like permeate me, like I can be in it and I can witness it from inside of this bubble, like a clear bubble. I was like and I'm like, oh, okay, there's all this stuff floating around me, whatever, but it's not touching me, it's not like, yeah, my skin, the osmosis or whatever it's like I can sit in it and it's safe.

Speaker 2:

And I think for me, being able to correlate that to where I was at with the business and like the decisions we were making is like, yeah, I can see the fear through the bubble, I can see the anxiety through the bubble, I can see all the other things, the decisions, through the bubble, but I'm still safe here. Yes, yeah, and to your point about, like all these, you know your brain being out in Tahiti, the part that makes like reasonable decisions, like being able to bring that back and being able to like, okay, be able to see the fears and the anxieties for what they are and the stories that I was saying, because it's not even just the fear. The fear would like tell me all these stories all these horrible things are going to happen.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, that's what I was saying, because it's not even just the fear the fear would like tell me all these stories.

Speaker 2:

all these horrible things are going to happen. Oh yeah, making decisions on was the story that the fear was telling me, which was not real and is not real and I just want to insert here.

Speaker 1:

Everyone's brain does that constantly. You are never responding to what is happening. You are always responding to the story that your brain made up or to the meaning that you're putting on it, because your brain does that automatically and so being getting in touch with what meaning am I putting on this? What story am I making up about? This is really really freeing and powerful and empowering, so that you can choose differently.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and like, and also to winning, like for me, like what was that, what was winning, like what's winning in business, and like now, kind of at this place and you know we talked about it like what, what is enough enough, like at what point is enough enough, and like right now I'm at enough in terms of dollar amount, like to support my family and it feels good like we have a beautiful life. And also I can still want more in terms of like service, like being of service, like I want to grow our business, but not from like, a scarcity, lack of like. Yes, I need to make more money because there's never enough, which is sort of how I was operating before, but now it's like no, I want to grow nationwide because there are women we can help.

Speaker 1:

There are people that need this information. I could have used you. I want you and I'm not even pregnant. You know I'm like. I want your maternity leave, yeah.

Speaker 2:

I mean just sitting there and helping women understand their employer, like their benefits and like what is the value of this? And it's so much legal jargon, it's so much insurance jargon. It's just it doesn't make sense to most folks. And you know, I can sit down and read something and in 30 seconds I'm like, okay, you're going to get this much pay and this much time off in 30 seconds.

Speaker 2:

I'm like okay you're going to get this much pay and this much time off, and this is how you extend it, and this is how it works, and this is the doctor's note and you're going to need this and that and that information to somebody is so helpful, like to them and their babies. So now it's become about impact. Yeah, and I still want to grow and I know there will be financial abundance associated with that Like, but it's not the driving force out of like not feeling safe or secure with like some dollar amount.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, it's not. It's not coming from that like hustling for your worthiness. Yeah, it's being driven by a completely different factor, which is so beautiful, and I can't wait for somebody who needs your services to find you. And and then in a few months down the road, I don't know exactly how long it's going to take to go more nationwide and then more and more women can be helped. So, yeah, so beautiful now, okay, that was really helpful to know about the retreat and to share. Is there anything else that went down at the retreat? That was, I don't know, surprising, unexpected. It just you were like very pleased with you know, yeah, like everything, I love it.

Speaker 2:

I've already signed up for next year, like I, and then that would be my third time going to the retreat and I get something different out of it every time. Um, I always go in with like an open mind and like I also go in being super, like vulnerable and like ready to receive. Um, I'm trying to think of anything else that was like, oh my gosh, like overwhelmingly powerful.

Speaker 1:

As you're thinking, one thing that I want to share here that I shared at the retreat, diane one of the most beautiful things about you is how willing you are to do the work and to touch the things, that the not so shiny parts about yourself, and to look at it and observe it and get curious about it rather than resisting, rather than pulling away, rather than not wanting to. And I know at the beginning of this recording you said you've had that experience where you didn't want to feel it. And I haven't witnessed that with you in the work that we've done together, in the time that you've come to the retreats and I've done one-on-one coaching with you. It has just, it's been inspiring. You know what I wish? I wish everyone could see the way that you take hold of the tools and you immediately apply them and you are so willing to embody it and then witness the shifts in you. It is mind-blowing, beautiful, just wow. I just want you to know that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's like so sweet and I was like at first, when you and I'm gonna green line with you, okay, at first, when you started talking, I'm going to green line with you, okay. First thing you started talking I was like oh no, and I wanted to like melt away. And I'm like no, diane, just receive, like so, thank you, you know, because it hasn't been, I don't.

Speaker 2:

You know, in the past I haven't liked to receive positive feedback about myself, right and so something I'm always working on. So I'm receiving that and I just want to say thank you. And I also want to say that for me, like when I went into the first retreat, I like yeah, I always forget old I am, you know, being an engineer, like left and right, left brain, black and white, thinking yes or no, there's everything is right and the wrong choice, like very low emotional vocabulary in terms of like wanting to feel my emotions.

Speaker 2:

I always wanted like reason and logic everything away, like there was always a reason for everything. And like now I've learned like sometimes the reason is like I just need to cry or I need to just sit here in this, I need to journal, I need to go sit outside. Like that sometimes is what I need. And I never had that vocabulary before. But when I went into the first retreat I was, oh my goodness, a totally different person A totally different person.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and now I'm I'm willing to touch everything, but only because I've seen the impact. So I can imagine somebody sitting there and be like, okay, that sounds great. I am like I am must be excellent at doing this. No, but the first time I did, and like the first few times we would go in to like things I was absolutely terrified of, or that I like stepped up and like tried to say the thing I was afraid to say, or I like let myself cry in front of somebody else, or I did these things I was terrified of doing and I got a positive response.

Speaker 2:

I was like okay, that was like proof enough for me to like keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going. Because what else is there? And every single time I've stepped through it, there's been more and more miracles and more and more blessings. So I just know, if somebody's out there and thinks like oh, I would, yeah, I can't sit in that, or like I don't want to, or I just want to logicify it away, I get it. And I also want to say, proof is in the pudding.

Speaker 2:

And like you get in there and you're, if you just get willing to do one thing, like address one thing in your life that you have extreme anxiety around, and that could be like speaking with your spouse advocating for yourself, raising your prices for your services, like whatever the thing is that you're afraid to do and dive into. Like not just like, oh, I'm afraid to do this, but like why am I afraid to do this? Like what is it that's really here? And like, dig into that, because that's why you're not doing the thing, at least for me, that's why I wasn't doing those things. I was willing to dive into it. Everything changed for me. So I just yeah, it wasn't always like that for one and two, like seeing the positive results of like once I went in and felt those things my life has changed.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for saying that. I know part of you starting to do the work or I mean anybody, I'm really I said you, but I'm really talking to anybody is that our subconscious mind thinks we're going to die if we do these things that we're afraid to do. But we're not and it's really, really empowering to show yourself I did it and I didn't die and actually I feel lighter.

Speaker 2:

I've had, so I I'm trying to like find the right words to articulate this like I feel like I'm coming home to myself and I don't know any other way to say that other than like I feel like a lot of who I thought I was for the 36 years of my life was one thing, and now I'm like this work has allowed me to sort of unravel these different pieces, like the money thing with my, my business, like when is enough enough, like it's enough right now. Yeah, that's like that, that's it's enough. Like there isn't something I need to prove that I'm successful, to myself, to my family, to believe I'm worthy to say I've made it, because now I'm deserving of love or whatever.

Speaker 2:

Like no, I'm proud of myself every damn day, like I legitimately am, even when I matter what. Yeah, no matter what, and you know I'm going to get that tattoo on my wrist. It's still going to happen what is. And then, no matter what, are my two lines like well, what it like, well, what if this does work out, and like well, what it. And I go on my what if, like journey with you.

Speaker 2:

You know, all the time I'll just say what if? What if the story I was saying was wrong one time? And like what if it really is this? And then what if it actually turns out better? And like what if this happens? And then I'm like, wait a minute, like yeah, that what if? Is no different than like the negative, what if? So why am I not just choosing this one? And then, no matter what is, even if I choose the quote, unquote, wrong thing, or I make a bad decision, lose money, something happens, whatever.

Speaker 2:

Can I still be proud of myself? Can I still say F? Yeah, diane, you showed up and you made a decision, even when you were scared and you learned. You learned that one again. Can I still be proud? Yeah, I can. And like once I took that back. I wasn't looking for somebody else to give me a trophy or to tell me they're proud of me. It like I found my own power again. And then it's like people talk about being like invincible to other people or whatever.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and the minute I was able to give myself these things, being proud of what I'm doing and no matter what, all you know that it's like that's the magic. So I feel like it's just been a journey of coming home to myself and, yes, it's, it's such bliss's, such bliss. I mean, you even know too, like we're getting ready to move. We're going to be like my husband left his job that was like six weeks ago and we're like what's next? And like I think we're just going to run our house out and we're going to go move across the country to Florida, or by you, and why, I have no idea. Literally, we feel called to do it. It's our intuition, my husband and I with our kids, and we're going to go. We're going to see what happens, because there's no wrong decisions, because, no matter what, I can be proud, you can be proud. Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 1:

So it just like unlocks everything, everything, and you are either going to get what you want when you make a decision, or something very important that you needed to learn and when we can look at it that way, okay, this happened. What can I learn from this, to apply to the rest of my life? To apply to my next decision? There's always something there.

Speaker 2:

Always, and it's always magic, and even when it's hard, yeah yeah, Something to learn. Like you know, hard things happen to me all the time in my business Hard decisions All the time, Unfortunate things Like oh well, that was an expense I wasn't planning for. Well, that wasn't ideal. Okay, what is this? How is this showing me like? How is this? How is this showing me like how to grow? How am I?

Speaker 2:

going to be better next time. And, like man, I'm so proud that, like, I'm still going, like, I'm proud of, like everything. And I'm also the most proud of the older version of me that decided to like, keep going and be the whatever five or 10% of you know entrepreneurs that like are successful, that like, like. Because that version of me kept going and didn't give up, because that version of me got emotionally literate and started developing the tools and implementing them. And I only can imagine if I just kept letting fear and my stories oh, okay, I'll do it later. Oh, I don't have enough time. Oh, this happened.

Speaker 2:

And there was hard times. You know, there was a whole time I had no childcare with my littlest. I was working during her naps, which were unpredictable at one at one years old, yeah, and I was working before she woke up at 5am in the morning and then after she went to bed and I was like driving myself into the ground, the hardest time of my business. We were making no money. I was considering going back to engineering. I was interviewing for positions but it never felt right and I was like I can't take it.

Speaker 2:

And I had a good offer from a company and I was like I literally told the guy and the guys who work for you Remember I was talking to you. I was like he's so sweet. It was like, so, kismet, like we were talking about meditation, all these things I love and I was like I can't take the job. I'm sorry, I don't know why my intuition and I couldn't take it. And then I said I have to just see this through and see if it's going to work.

Speaker 2:

And at that point it was like, yeah, and I'm proud. So now I'm like I'm proud of that version of me that made those hard decisions in those moments when it was hard and it was scary and the money wasn't there. And there was. You look around and it seems dark and dismal. Yeah, I could have given up, but I'm so proud now of that little Diane that was like, okay, we're going to keep going. And now I'm like, yes, like if that today I'm other little Diane. And then, five years from now, that version of me is looking back here. What are the decisions I'm making that they're going to make that version of me proud.

Speaker 1:

So I can relate to. I, you know, don't really talk about my entrepreneurship journey on here, but there was a moment September 2022, where I was like what have I done? Why am I doing this? I had so much negative self-talk come up. I was like, yeah, am I an idiot for walking away from NASA, from this great career, you know, working for headquarters, for this great salary, to make myself struggle. But I will tell you, it's in those moments where the resilience that I built and that you built, and the ability to trust myself and the universe and surrender and follow my intuition like that's when it happened it's in those hard moments. So it's very easy for people, whether you're an entrepreneur or not, to wish away the hard moments, and those are the greatest gift if you allow them to be.

Speaker 2:

If you fight it, it won't be the greatest gift, but if you allow it to teach you what it's here to teach you, my goodness yeah, and I want to say like that time of when I had no child care for my littlest one years old and I was like trying to do it all in these, like you've got a little one.

Speaker 2:

You know what a one-year-old naps are sometimes they're 30 minutes, sometimes they're two and a half, it's like all over the board board and what that taught me was my time is so valuable and I used to waste and squander my time.

Speaker 2:

I would go have coffees with friends, lunches, dinners when I did have child care, like when I was working, and stuff, and I just squandered so much time because I didn't see the value. So I feel like what a gift that horrible quote-unquote time was because, look, it taught me the value. So I feel like what a gift that horrible quote unquote time was because, look, it taught me the value of my time. So now, when people are like I just want to pick your brain, can we go out to coffee, like whatever? And I'm just like no, I can't. No, because I prioritize, I know what my priorities are, I know where I need to be spending my time, where I used to just be like frivolously giving it up. So, yes, it was a hard thing, but it was the lesson I need to learn in the way I needed to learn it yeah, and I'm proud.

Speaker 2:

I went through it and now I'm like much more equipped to be able to like, say no to different things. So this next venture of ours, like moving across the country from California to Florida and doing whatever yeah, I just know it's either going to be lessons and blessing, it's all of it. You know, and if I can just look at it from that lens, because of the tools I have and the emotional vocabulary I have, it's all going to work out Like and we're going to let it flow the way it needs to flow.

Speaker 1:

So well, oh my gosh. Thank you so much for sharing all of that is. Let me just circle back. Is there anything else that you wanted to share, in particular about what came up for you at the retreat, or any?

Speaker 2:

takeaways, favorite parts, breakthroughs. I think my other favorite part of the retreat was, um, funny enough, I do tarot readings and so I was able to do a little reading, like a little mini reading, for all the ladies that were in attendance. And I am always in awe of, like, the willingness of others to be able to go there too and like, even though I have so much trust and surrender, and like ability to now like, keep following these. You know, bigger decisions in life. I am like, so in awe, awe of everybody else because everybody's going through something, everybody's got something that they're thinking about, they're worried about, they have anxiety around, or they're a decision they want to make, or change they want to make in their life, what they want to be doing, and there's a reason why somebody is not doing it.

Speaker 2:

And in these readings, these women just share so vulnerably, like, what's going on and you know, just being able to see them over the course of the retreat, from like a reading to like you know, watching you and the hot seat, coaching and in the coaching sessions and in all of the inner work sessions, and being able to go within and being able to see these women from the beginning to the end and be like, yeah, I'm going to go back and I'm like making these shifts and I'm going to be changing what I'm going to be doing and I'm going to go and start doing the thing. I'm gonna start writing the book, I'm going to go start my business. I'm going to go, you know, say no. When I want to say no, or whatever the thing is that they were dealing with, it's so magical for me to see, because it just reminds me of like the humanity and all of us, like we are all experiencing things that are holding us back everybody, all of us, and it's different for everyone.

Speaker 2:

So what may be like easy for me is challenging for somebody else and vice versa, and I think just being able to see the bravery within these women to be like you know what yeah, I'm Like, I'm done living life like this I'm, I'm open and I'm willing and I'm ready to try something new, you know, willing to try seeing it differently is magical for me to see, because it's inspiring. It is just see everybody from all walks of life, dealing with different things, move forward in a new way and it inspires me to just keep doing my own thing. And so, yeah, that was probably the other powerful moment. And then just connecting with these ladies too, afterwards, who reach out to me and like tell me, oh, my goodness, some Instagram DMs, like, look at what I'm doing, remember when you told me in the reading? And I'm like no, I don't.

Speaker 2:

But like tell me what you know and they're like excited about this. Yeah, taking steps to you know somebody who's writing a book, like I think it's magical.

Speaker 1:

And it's yes, it is I loved because I had no idea what was said in the tarot card readings and then later I would be doing the hot seat, coaching and similar messages would come from me to them and they're like later I would find out from the attendees like, oh my gosh, I received this from the tarot card reading. And then you added this piece and I think I did the interview with Jen a few weeks ago and she was like it felt like God was speaking through you and I know that he was speaking through you, and I know that he was speaking through you. So I'm like, oh, yeah, it makes sense that the message is consistent.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, totally Just seeing, like the humanity and everybody realizing we're all being communicated with, we're all on our paths and like those of us that are willing to like step into it, yes, what magic is on the other side. I just, and I get excited for all of these ladies too, you know.

Speaker 1:

so me too okay, before we end for today, is there anything that you would want to tell somebody? If they were thinking about coming to the retreat but they were on the fence or they weren't sure if it was for them, anything you would want to tell them?

Speaker 2:

I would just say just do it. But I feel like I was like super cheesy and like cheese balling, but I I say it feels scary, like it's something you should explore, looking into, or if you're like checking it out and you're like, oh, that's interesting, like explore it and see. They're like it's interesting to you because there's something there for you and be willing to explore and see and like kind of be brave and like, look within and like why am I being drawn?

Speaker 2:

into this thing and ask yourself, like, okay, if I could make a few changes in my life and like be a different person when I come out and be more of who I want to be with my kids, with my business, with my partner at my job, with my parents, with my business, with my partner at my job, with my parents, with whatever out of the community. If I can be more of an advocate for myself, if I can step through these things like what's what's that worth to me, what's that value to me in my life? And yeah, I would just ask anybody who's like curious about it to really explore what might be there for them, because if you're thinking about it, you're drawn into it for a reason.

Speaker 1:

I agree, thank you, all right, so where can people find you if they want to connect with you? Oh yeah, if anyone wants to connect with me.

Speaker 2:

I'm at California maternity leave right now on Instagram and just send me a DM. I answer all my own messages, so I'd love to connect with anybody on there.

Speaker 1:

And I'll link it in the show notes so that you can just click it and don't have to worry about typing it in. Thank you so much for coming on today, Diane Thank you for having me.

Speaker 2:

I'm glad I got to be back.

Speaker 1:

Me too. Thank you for listening today. If you're ready to heal, so that triggering situations no longer control you and so that you can feel empowered, brave and thrive in any situation, dm me the word brave on Instagram and I'll send you a training where you will learn three of the most common mistakes driven women are making that are keeping them stuck in negative emotions, and what you can do instead.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Dr. Stephanie Lopez

Host