Rebuilding Relationships and Embracing Self-Growth with Tracy Stroderd
Jun 25, 2024Episode 57
Dr. Stephanie Lopez
How do you rebuild a relationship after a painful estrangement? Today we sit down with Tracy Stroderd who opens up about her deeply personal journey of mending familial bonds and championing self-growth.
Tracy talks about the heart-wrenching period when she was estranged from her oldest son and the emotional weight of not seeing her grandchildren. Guided by her father's wisdom and her therapist's advice, she navigated these rough waters and discovered the importance of patience, boundaries, and inner work.
In this episode, we talk about the following: 1. Tracy's background, personal journey, and experience in the BRAVE-cation retreat. 2. Tracy's insights on personal growth, vision boards, and setting intentions. 3. The importance of community and intergenerational learning among women
How do you rebuild a relationship after a painful estrangement? Today we sit down with Tracy Stroderd who opens up about her deeply personal journey of mending familial bonds and championing self-growth.
Tracy talks about the heart-wrenching period when she was estranged from her oldest son and the emotional weight of not seeing her grandchildren. Guided by her father's wisdom and her therapist's advice, she navigated these rough waters and discovered the importance of patience, boundaries, and inner work.
In this episode, we talk about the following: 1. Tracy's background, personal journey, and experience in the BRAVE-cation retreat. 2. Tracy's insights on personal growth, vision boards, and setting intentions. 3. The importance of community and intergenerational learning among women
Hi, I'm Dr Steph and I'm here to guide you on your journey to healing from a difficult relationship with your mother, whether she was narcissistic, emotionally immature or just plain toxic. I want you to know that you are, in fact, not broken and you do not have to suffer from anxiety or explosive emotional reactions like lashing out. You can break the cycle. You are a strong, capable woman who can handle any challenge that comes your way, and I'm gonna show you how to have the ultimate control over your reactions so that you are unstoppable. Welcome to the Broken to Brave podcast. Welcome back to the Broken to Brave podcast. Welcome back to the Broken to Brave podcast.
Speaker 1:
I have Tracy here with me today and I am so excited to introduce you to her. We actually met in early 2021. There is a local women's business accelerator called WeVenture and they were hosting a panel of women and you know right now I actually can't remember for sure what the panel was about, but both Tracy and I were on the panel and we stayed in touch since then and I'm really glad that we had the opportunity to connect, so I wanted to bring you on today. Can you tell me a little bit about who you are and what led you to come to Bravecation Retreat Sure?
Speaker 2:
Thanks for having me. So I'm Tracy Stroddard. I am the CEO and founder of EverythingForBardcom. It is a community-based website that I launched back in 2011. And we've got the website, a magazine, digital storytelling, social platforms and I just really work to champion local small businesses. I love that so much. We just use those tools to do that.
Speaker 2:
I am a very firm believer in education, which is why I was part of the WeVenture program and continue to support them and participate in all the amazing things that they have. One of the things that I was inspired by our meeting was you being an organizational psychologist that had previously worked for NASA. I was super intrigued by that and I wanted to know more, so I started following you on Instagram and then I saw the Bravecation and I was like, oh, this is interesting, and I've been on my own personal wellness journey since October of 2016 or January of 2016. And so I'm always looking for ways to improve myself, be healthier, learn from others, and then I take what I learned and share it with my community, and so I was just very intrigued by the intimate nature of what you were describing and I said I'm going to do that.
Speaker 1:
That sounds like me.
Speaker 2:
I really didn't know what I was going to learn or what it was going to be like.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I also love that when you do inner work and you take that learning, you don't gatekeep and you're like I'm going to spread this to as many people as possible, because that's something that's important to me too. So now tell me a little bit more about what you were dealing with coming into the retreat, because I know that you mentioned you had started really healing in 2016 and just have been on this journey since then. So what was currently coming up for you?
Speaker 2:
Well, when I had signed up, it had been approximately six months since I had communications with my oldest son.
Speaker 2:
Had a falling out, the fall of the previous year, and it really was not pretty at all and I had started some counseling. I'd asked for a little bit of a reprieve, just to take a time out, because the stress of it was elevating my blood sugar at dangerously high level and so I needed to take a time out, and that apparently wasn't okay and so it had been. It had been maybe six or eight months since we had spoke, yeah, and I didn't see the grandkids either. I was still pretty heartbroken and this really wasn't my first rodeo of having heartbreak from adult children.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, thank you so much for your openness. I know that can feel vulnerable to share, especially on a podcast, and I know that you're not the only one that people listening will be able to relate from either side maybe being the adult child or maybe being the parent and when we can share those things, it helps others. Yeah, so is there any anything that, anything else about that that you wanted to share?
Speaker 2:
well over over the last 20 years or so since going through this type of thing. My dad has always told me Tracy, it's gonna come back around, they're gonna need you before you need them. Just be patient, trust the process. And that is really hard to do, especially if you come from a background of wanting to be a fixer and a people pleaser and you want to have healthy boundaries. But you know it's a hard road to navigate. But the counselor that I was seeing at the time she had told me. She said I want you to just give it time and she said sometimes it can take years, sometimes it's months, but more often than not there's usually something traumatic that happens in either parties. Um, life brings you together and that is exactly what happened.
Speaker 1:
I've witnessed that too. Yeah, for sure. Okay, thank you for sharing that. Yeah, so if we circle back to the retreat, you said, okay, here's kind of where I was at before I came and I didn't really know what to expect. Did you feel nervous, or were you like I don't know, I'm you know I wasn't nervous about that at all.
Speaker 2:
What made me the most nervous is when we had our little meet and greet zoom call where everybody was participating online, like in this kind of platform, and most of the attendees look to be about my daughter's age. I'm like, oh, my goodness, I'm going to be like the mom in the group. Yeah, that at the retreat or after the retreat I referenced that and somebody is like it might have even been you. Let's just go with big sister.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I mean because a lot of my clients are mid to late thirties to mid forties and so you're not that much older, even though you may have had your kids earlier. I'm like, I think you're more like a big sister rather than a mom. Yeah, that felt good. I'm glad that you weren't nervous, but I can understand that reaction on the call and we'll, we'll keep going, but it kind of just doesn't matter when you, when it comes down to it. So tell me, what did you think about the retreat?
Speaker 2:
I thought a lot of different things. First of all, I loved the accommodations. I thought it was great how you started it out, where we had massages lined up and there were little activities. You had the welcome packets on the bed and in the room with our own little journals and stuff like that, so I loved that feeling of it. The food was amazing, very fueling, nothing too heavy, nothing. I've always found that when you do this kind of work, you really need to fuel yourself properly and stay hydrated. It's it's hard to do if you are feeling lethargic from a meal. Yeah, um. So I loved all of that. And I loved also how there was time for processing in between each one of the little sessions that we had, and I liked that it wasn't just boom boom, boom boom. We had time yeah, self-time time to chat with the other people in the group. It was just. It was a really good flow.
Speaker 1:
Thank you. That is actually a lesson that I learned because the old me would have tried to cram in so much content and then by accident, one time I had extra space and then I saw literal miracles happen, breakthroughs, and I was like, okay, we actually need this. And then, you know, since then I started integrating that more because I've been running retreats since I was at NASA, so I had experience coming into these, which was so helpful. Yeah, so did you. For somebody who is like what the heck is Bravecation, how would you describe the sessions that we did and what happens at Bravecation?
Speaker 2:
I thought that they were really interesting. I've never experienced the technique that you use. The technique that you use and I thought it was so subtle because you were just taking us on a journey through whatever story you were telling, getting us to utilize our different senses, and I was thinking, oh, I'm going to deal with this situation whatever. And it was totally different. Other things from my childhood came up and one of the big aha moments for me was when we were doing the little sketch I forget the like the roadmap of your life. And although there were a lot of ups and downs in my life over the decades, um, there were so many things that I had accomplished that I really had never reflected on that I had done so much and that these other hiccups or roadblocks, they didn't have to identify me.
Speaker 1:
Absolutely yeah, yeah it was.
Speaker 2:
It was I'm trying to think the best way to describe it but it was more like you were listening to a story, thinking one thing and got something totally different.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I know at the end there were a few of you I can't remember if you were one of them but like, how do I tell people about this? What do I say? What do I describe it as? And I'm like just say whatever's true for you, what you took away from it. So any takeaways or insights or aha moments that stand out most to you.
Speaker 2:
Well, when it comes to sharing whether it's bravecation or something new that you've learned I have found that there's a right time and a place to share, and so people need to be receptive, because when I came back from the retreat, all my friends were super curious about it, like they wanted to know. But they were like huh, what I'm like? Well, you just have to try it or you can follow her, learn more, that kind of thing. But a lot of times people don't even realize that they're stuck.
Speaker 2:
So it's hard to explain. Yeah, I know for sure. When you meet somebody that is perfect to share information with.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, absolutely. So what was your favorite part of the retreat?
Speaker 2:
Well, I loved all the sessions and just being able to communicate with each other. It was great going out to dinner the last night. I did really love when I did the cold plunge jumped into the swimming pool. That was fun. I think the ending was the best part, though.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
When we all got to share something about each other, that was really special.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, say more about that.
Speaker 2:
Well, when you're sitting across from somebody that you have witnessed having breakthroughs and being vulnerable and sharing from the depths of their soul.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
I don't know. I was just so proud of so many of these women who are there showing up doing the work for themselves, for their spouses, for their families for their families and wanting to dive in and be better, and so often people will have those thoughts.
Speaker 1:
They'll think like, oh my gosh, that's so inspiring. Or you know, I'm so proud of them. Or wow, like, what an incredible person. And never say anything. And that's one of the reasons why I included that is, let's say it. Yeah, yeah, because why not?
Speaker 2:
yeah, yeah yeah, and some of the things it's. It's part of what we do in our business that when, when I'm championing um, a small business in our community or just somebody who needs to be uplifted, I have found that they feel like their stories don't matter. Their stories do, that their stories can help other people change their lives and have a realization or an awakening when they hear it or read it. And and so, um, one of the one of the young gals she told me how me sharing the story about experiencing um, having your adult children get married and have a daughter-in-laws and things like that yeah, how that really helped her. For me it's been really hard to maneuver that because you really feel like there's a loss, but for me to have the courage to share it really helped her gain a new perspective.
Speaker 1:
Absolutely, absolutely. You know, something that's coming up for me right now is so often people feel nervous you didn't but so often they feel nervous to do something in the group because, like, well, I can't it's too vulnerable to say that or I can't share that, I just I only want to share it in a one-on-one environment. But the power of coming together and opening your hearts and your souls in in this group environment, it's like nothing else, because what you realize is all that fear, it was just fear. It's beautiful. And although every single person in that room had different life stories and different challenges and different trauma and various levels, like you know, a lot of trauma or not. That much, all that you know, small T, big T, all that the feelings that they've all felt and that we've all felt are the same. The feelings that they've all felt and that we've all felt are the same. Right, and just to for me to watch you all love on each other.
Speaker 2:
So beautiful, right, right the saying the only way to the light is through the dark.
Speaker 1:
Yes. I love that. Yes, absolutely so. True, it's to take that that one step, say it, to just trust it. But it's so beautiful when you can. Yeah, absolutely so. Anything else in terms of takeaways from the retreat, insights, aha moments that you had while?
Speaker 2:
there or that you noticed others were having while there. Yes, one of the things that I noticed was that several of the people that were there this retreat that I attended had participated before, and I was really um inspired by the level of commitment that they had to keep coming back and that it's just it. It felt like this intimate little sisterhood, yeah kind of thing, and it felt good to have one retreat under my belt and then sign up for the second one. I'm so glad. I know that maybe there's going to be a new person who'll be there, just like me last year, earlier this year, but to be with the other ladies who have participated and know that I'll get to see them again next year. I'm excited about that.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I'm so, so excited. So if someone were on the fence and they're like, okay, this sounds intriguing, but I just don't know, I don't know what would you tell them if they weren't sure, if it was for them?
Speaker 2:
If you're questioning it, it's for you Sign up baby questioning it, it's for you. Sign up baby.
Speaker 1:
If you're questioning it, just do it. It's on your heart for a reason. Right, they caught your attention.
Speaker 2:
For a reason it showed up. I mean, you know we in your Instagram stuff you talk about a narcissistic mom and stuff like that. I was like, was my mom that way? I don't know if she was. I know I know that narcissists have been in my life before, but I didn't know about my mom that I had unresolved things there, um, so that's what got me a little curious too. Um, from all the things that I've been working on over the last eight or nine years, I just feel like if it's showing up in your Instagram or it's showing up in your mail or in your emails, what? Wherever it's showing up, there's a reason for it and you should lean in.
Speaker 1:
Lean in baby. Yeah, yes, I agree. Yeah, I've had a few people, with various programs that I've run, say, you know, I just like said a prayer or had this on my heart, like I want to better myself this year, for instance. And then then the one person that I'm thinking of in particular, that her name was Tiara. She's like I didn't actually like do anything to make that happen, but then I got an email with your program and it was like it literally just landed in my lap and to witness, she just went for it and then to witness the changes that she made in such a short period of time, I was so proud of her, mind blown, but also not mind blown because I know if people use the tools, they work. But I just love that you mentioned that, because things are crossing your path for a reason and you get to choose. Am I going to go all in or am I just going to gloss over this?
Speaker 2:
and hang them on my wall, and then it's not like I really forget about them. But there's a lot that goes into designing the board for me before I like get the glue out, really stick it on there, but then it just has a way of happening. So I don't think anything is by accident.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, no, absolutely not. I think this has a lot to do with one thing that actually came up during the retreat. There were a few people who were asking about something and I just told them I said set the intention for what you want, and literally that's exactly what a vision board is. You are telling your mind, yes, you're putting it on paper, but you're telling your mind pay attention to this, and so that activates the reticular activating system, which then your brain starts to notice when that's there.
Speaker 1:
For instance, if you've ever gotten a you know a new car and then you see that car everywhere. It's not like that car wasn't there before it was there, you were just glossing over it. That you know. That most recently happened when I got my blue Subaru and then I started seeing Subarus everywhere. I'm like, oh my gosh, that is your mind at work. And so one person at the retreat, when I said that she's like set the intention, like how is that going to do anything? But now you know a little bit from a brain science perspective of how it works. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:
Last year I had done my vision board and my family my dad and my two brothers and their families live in Alaska and they always go somewhere warm for the winter season and my brother and sister-in-law and nephew were in Maui and my dad was flying over. So I called to check in on him to make sure he made it and he did and I said I'm so excited for you. The only thing would be better is if I could be there. The next morning I woke up with a text message from my brother saying if you're willing to fly, I'll buy first class round trip tickets. Wow, let me do a little shuffling. And yes, I'm there, but I had just finished my vision board and right in the center I put this word collection, whatever it is said, epic adventures. I love that vision board. At a class that I was teaching and they said but you don't have Maui on here. I said I did right in the center, epic adventure.
Speaker 2:
But I was there in February and then the fires happened, like six months later yeah so I mean it would probably not ever be the same, or not for a long time. Yeah, yeah, it's really sad, but so sad. I have that experience in it and I really did have that intention that I wanted to have these epic adventures.
Speaker 1:
I love it so much. Oh, my goodness. Okay, so tell me, is there anything else that you want to share about the Bravecation Retreat? What happens there, the women, the way that I show up, anything that's coming up for you.
Speaker 2:
I feel like I pretty much covered it. I mean, I'm just really proud of you. I think you've done a fantastic job. You know for sure that your heart and soul is in the work that you do.
Speaker 1:
Thank you so much, I really appreciate that. Oh, thank you.
Speaker 2:
And I'm sure it was an interesting, you know leap for you to go from corporate to entrepreneurship, and done well.
Speaker 1:
Yes, thank you. I grew up and my mom was an entrepreneur my whole life and I said for a good portion of my life I'm never doing that. And here I am. Never say never, but I love it. And now I can't imagine going back and working for somebody because I love it so much.
Speaker 2:
I went.
Speaker 2:
I got my college degree because I applied for a job and the recruiter said I was the most qualified, but I didn't have the degree so he couldn't offer me the job and so I fast tracked and I got my bachelor's's, then I got my master's and I loved psychology. But I never saw myself like sitting in a doctor's office and having those one-on-one conversations. Yeah, yeah, I do it all day long, every day. It's different in a different setting and in a less clinical type way. I feel very fulfilled by being able to share knowledge and information with people who are working hard to realize their dreams.
Speaker 1:
Yes, I couldn't agree more, me too, so I know you have a special event coming up. Do you want to tell us about it?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I would love to Unwrap the best you is a women's health and wellness symposium that I started back in 2017 as just a little meetup, where, kind of like a pop-up event, I'd have a couple of guest speakers that would come out and 20 or 30 women would show up and we'd learn something new together and have some appetizers and stuff. And then somebody said, oh, you should turn this into an event, and so, 2018, I had my first Unwrap the Best you event. Then 2019, we had our second and turned it into a whole weekend symposium. Then COVID happened and we did the virtual pivot and I did not like it at all.
Speaker 2:
And this year, while doing some leadership training, it became very apparent to me that my heart really missed the community, and so I'm bringing it back. It's October 4th, 5th and 6th here at the Space Coast Convention Center in Coco.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
On 520 and 95. I've got an amazing lineup of speakers. You can get all the details at unwrapthebestyoucom.
Speaker 1:
And I'll put that in the show notes.
Speaker 2:
And our theme is live, learn and love the season that you're in and the vision behind it is that we usually have 20-year-olds to 70-year-olds at the event, and my vision from the very get-go was to have this group of women locking arms, learning from each other.
Speaker 1:
Yes.
Speaker 2:
And it's just been amazing and I'm so excited that you said yes, that you're going to come and speak. I can't wait. We've got so many fun things lined up.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I can't wait. I'm so excited that you invited me and I'll make sure that I put that link in the show notes so anyone listening can take a look and sign up and register and I'll see you there. And where is the best place for people to find you if they want to ask questions or follow you? You?
Speaker 2:
can email me Tracy at everything, brevardcom. Tracy at unwrap, the best, youcom. Okay, and then you can go to the website. There's all kinds of links.
Speaker 1:
Awesome. I will put both of those in the show notes as well. Thank you so much for coming on today. It's been amazing. Thank you for listening today. If you're ready to heal so that triggering situations no longer control you and so that you can feel empowered, brave and thrive in any situation, dm me the word brave on Instagram and I'll send you a training where you will learn three of the most common mistakes driven women are making that are keeping them stuck in negative emotions, and what you can do instead.
