Laughter and Healing on our BRAVE-cation Retreat with Meagan DeLange

Recently, I had the privilege of hosting a circle of incredible women at our transformative BRAVE-cation retreat. Alongside Meagan DeLange, we navigated the delicate dance of vulnerability and strength. From the serendipitous discovery of a secret Harry Potter-themed room that bonded us in laughter, to the shared tears that marked our brave confrontations with personal demons, this episode is a tapestry of triumph and camaraderie.

With the retreat as our backdrop, we peeled back the layers of our souls, discussing body image, the intricacies of motherhood, and the quest for emotional connectivity. The sanctuary we created allowed us to witness, firsthand, the profound breakthroughs often reserved for the pages of inspirational novels. Megan's journey, a story interwoven with the collective narrative of our attendees, serves as a testament to the strength found in togetherness. Here, we offer the laughter, the lessons, and the leaps of faith that marked our time together!

In this episode, we talk about the following:
1. Embracing openness and vulnerability.
2. Transformation through tools and modalities.
3. Spiritual exploration and growth.

You can connect with Meagan on:
Youtube www.youtube.com/@FreedomtoFlourish

Get on the BRAVE-cation waitlist:
www.brave-method.com

______________________________________

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💗 Dr. Steph
@DrStephanieLopez
www.brave-method.com

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:45

Hi, I'm Dr Steph and I'm here to guide you on your journey to healing from a difficult relationship with your mother, whether she was narcissistic, emotionally immature or just plain toxic. I want you to know that you are in fact, not broken and you do not have to suffer from anxiety or explosive emotional reactions like lashing out. You can break the cycle. You are a strong, capable woman who can handle any challenge that comes your way, and I'm going to show you how to have the ultimate control over your reactions so that you are unstoppable. Welcome to the Broken to Brave podcast. All right, welcome back everyone I have.

Speaker 1: 1:31

I'm going to mix things up this week and we are going to have some fun on this episode. I have Megan here with me. She works alongside me inside Brave and previously worked with me one-on-one, and I also asked her to be my assistant for my four-day Bravecation healing retreat, so we were chatting and figured that we would hop on and do a retreat recap. Essentially, I want to talk about themes that came up with everyone, what they were struggling with, what some of the breakthroughs were around, and we want to share some fun things that popped up along the journey. And, yeah, just some of the takeaways, anything else.

Speaker 2: 2:23

No, I just love that we're talking about this, because it was such an incredible experience and I'm still just in awe of all of it, so I'm so excited to do this episode.

Speaker 1: 2:34

Oh, thank you, it was so much fun, so much fun. I'm just going to say right off the bat, this is my fifth four-day Bravecation retreat, and last year I came off of it saying this is the best thing I have ever facilitated. So I had this like small little voice going in this year, like can I top that? Like I don't know, is it? Can I do better than the best? And I'm here to say yes, and it was not just me, it was everyone that attended as well, and so I'm going to share some of the things that were unique about this group of women that I think really paved the way for an incredible experience. Before I do, do you want to just talk about some of the fun things that also threw a wrench in the plan?

Speaker 2: 3:29

Yes, oh my God, can we talk about the Harry?

Speaker 1: 3:35

Potter room. Yes, yes, yes, let's start there. So and jump in, jump in when I'm telling this story. So I rent this beautiful home in reunion, florida, central Florida. If you don't know, and I you know, see all these pictures online and it says it's got seven bedrooms. So I sell enough seats for nine women because two of the rooms have two beds. Megan and I get there Thursday morning, right, we're setting everything up, getting the food ready, getting the gift bags ready, and then we are looking around the house and we count six rooms and I'm like wait a second, megan, we're missing two beds. We're missing a room and she's I don't remember. Were you like, are you sure?

Speaker 2: 4:28

Yeah, I was like let's go look again. I feel like we might have checked three times and we did, and we're enough. Seven beds, six bedrooms, seven beds. We were like what?

Speaker 1: 4:39

are we going to do? What are we going to do? We have nowhere for two women to sleep. Now I just want to pause here and ask you if you were in this situation, how would you handle this? How would you go into fight or flight? Would your heart be pounding? Would you be like, oh my God? So we were pretty calm. I was really impressed with us. We're like, okay, well, we're going to figure it out, and we're like we did three laps. We're like up the stairs, down the stairs. We're looking in all these odds and in places, where is this door?

Speaker 2: 5:11

to this room. The house was amazed. It really was a lot of different doors and ways you could go. So we're like, okay, if you checked this, there was like a door behind the screen in the theater room. We're like, maybe that's it, but it wasn't.

Speaker 1: 5:25

It wasn't, it wasn't. So we go downstairs, I pull up the app that has the house and, sure enough, it says seven bedrooms and we're like okay. So we're scrolling through the photos and then Megan sees that the seventh bedroom is a Harry Potter room. So she's like this room. It doesn't even look like it's in the same house and I was like you're right.

Speaker 2: 5:49

Yeah, it's not like a cathedral. I don't know. That door like a different dome shaped or like yeah Door, and I was like I, this is not in this house. This must be a mistake.

Speaker 1: 6:01

And I was like, oh my gosh, I can't believe I didn't notice that these women they're going to have to, they can't stay in this house. I, we're going to figure that out. And then, all of a sudden, Megan, you're at the front door of the home and what do you see?

Speaker 2: 6:18

Yeah, so at the front door they had like one of those house layouts and like of the first and second floor. So I was looking at it and it was like, okay, one bedroom, two bedroom. And I was like, oh my gosh, there is a room on the other side of the garage, right, and I just remember that you ran like to the garage. We were so excited.

Speaker 1: 6:41

We're like what the heck, we are sprinting across the house. We bust into the former garage, which is a game room, and then I see what looks like a bookshelf on the opposite side and I go up to it and I've got my hands on it. Like do I push it?

Speaker 2: 7:02

Yeah, no door knobs. Not a door, really, it was just a part of the wall yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 7:08

And so I push it open and, oh my word, it is the best Harry Potter room I've ever seen in my life, like they went all out, all out. I've got some pictures on Instagram if you're curious, but now then this might have been one of those you had to see at moments. But I wish there was a candid camera because Megan and I literally we are like jumping up and down like little kids and like hugging each other, probably squealing Like yes.

Speaker 2: 7:42

It was one of like the best moments of my whole life, because it was just like so much, like, oh, like, okay, there's not two more beds. And then it was just that excitement of like the map and like there is another room, there's another room.

Speaker 1: 7:54

Yeah, that contrast between let down to like cloud nine. We found it. Oh, anyways, that was super, super cool to find this, and we happened to have two huge Harry Potter lovers, so they got to stay in what they ended up calling the dungeon Harry Potter room. Oh, I'm so good. Oh, I'm so, so glad that was actually the seventh bedroom. Okay, so now to dive into other moments at the retreat. I just wanted to give you all, just like a few of the topics that came up that the women there were struggling with Before the retreat. I had everyone set intentions for what they wanted to get out of it and then just come with an open heart and so, yeah, some of the things that came up were and you might be like, wow, this is like a big spread body image things not feeling good about themselves, kind of feeling physically disgusting, feeling unlikable, challenges in childhood, the way that they were raised, illness is in their family and trying to navigate that, their relationships with their partners their husband specifically not feeling as emotionally close as they desired, what else?

Speaker 2: 9:26

Yeah, those are the big ones that I was thinking of too, and just I remember a couple of people sharing things that they felt like no one else would relate to, but then they would share it and would be like me too, like that happened often.

Speaker 1: 9:41

Often, often, you're right. Oh, I remember another one too, struggling with like am I doing a good enough job as a mom, with challenges in their children, big emotions in their teens, anxiety and depression and like navigating that, and then like a lack of safety, for example, getting negative feedback and how that showed up. And I'm gonna circle back to what you just said. People, multiple people, said I didn't think anybody would understand, I felt like so alone in this, and over and over and over again, the other women would validate they did and they felt those things.

Speaker 2: 10:29

Yeah, I just got chills because it was just so. It's such a neat experience to know like I'm not alone, Like these people feel the same way that I do, and it's just so amazing to be able to talk about it and have that understanding, yeah, yeah, and I don't know, do you wanna share anything about what was different than what you expected, Like anything unique from your perspective, versus like what you anticipated and then what transpired?

Speaker 2: 11:01

Yeah, I love that question. I didn't know what to expect, I just thought it would. I knew it would be amazing because you were there and all the work that I've ever done with you is incredible. But I think I was just nervous because I didn't know any of these women. I didn't know them personally, I didn't know how it would feel to be vulnerable and just what I experienced was just such like a like I felt so welcomed and so loved and it was just so like almost like I had known them forever and it was just really easy to have a lot of openness and the amount of change that can happen like in an instant, is incredible, like it's like someone just takes like a blinder off of your eyes and it's just amazing how fast like breakthroughs and change can happen and like how deep it can go to.

Speaker 1: 11:53

Yeah, yeah, and I imagine that some of the people listening are like, but how? Because so many people are used to therapy model like talk therapy specifically, where you're going session after session, a couple sessions a month, years. Many people are in therapy for years, decades, and I use different modalities to bring things from your subconscious into your conscious mind so that you can shift out of those things. So at the retreat we did exercises where we're literally like moving through the room and I'm walking you through specific prompts to bring things into your conscious mind. We gave each other feedback, we did many lecture at where, like I know, content that is going to help people have a shift in perspective and breakthroughs and feel more empowered, and we did guided imageries and that culmination all together and these are all based in the three pillars that I've talked about on the podcast numerous times.

Speaker 1: 13:04

Where we have all of the work is the foundation of it is these three pillars of absolute acceptance activate choice and analyze data, and that there's a sweet spot when you have all of that mixed in with these different modalities. And, megan, yeah, I loved how you said you felt like you knew them forever. So if I were listening to this, I think I'd feel skeptical because that just is not my experience out in the world and it's not by accident. One of the things that I do is I have a structured exercise on the first night that intentionally brings people to a deep place where they have the opportunity to show up with openness and vulnerability and share their hearts, and what tends to happen is that people feel very close after going through that exercise.

Speaker 2: 14:10

Yes, yes for sure, and everyone is so different. I have to say it was like it was like the same people. You know, some personalities, like everyone was so different. But that exercise specifically was so amazing and just like opening it up and helping me and others to be vulnerable, I think, and to just share pieces of their life and how things have affected them. It was really incredible.

Speaker 1: 14:36

Yeah thank you for sharing that. I love that. You got to participate in many of the experiences too. Yes, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 14:46

What came up a couple of times is people said this is like such a unique space where I feel fully supported and seen and understood and I feel like it can be my real self, and so I'll add to that that a lot of people notice after showing up in this space that they are pretending a lot of the times and not being their authentic self, and that here, at a brave case and healing retreat, you don't have to pretend.

Speaker 1: 15:19

You can show up as you and kind of let it all hang out. And if that feels terrifying, I want to comfort you that, while it might feel terrifying, it feels soothing is the word that comes to me too Because and maybe you can add a little bit to this but what I'm going to say is that I hold people in a way that the response from them is that they've never been held before. You're not going to see this in the photos that we share on Instagram or on the website, because people are almost always crying in the photos, but I get down and I kneel in front of them and I coach them through the exact moment they're in, and it's unique and specific to each person what they need to hear, and I'll just pause here and see if you have anything to add to that.

Speaker 2: 16:22

Yes, so with that specifically, I and I've told you this before but watching you work is like what I imagine it would be like watching like Da Vinci in his like glory years, like it was just like. It was just like watching him make a piece of art. Yeah, just the way that you are able to talk to people and just help them, like in the most beautiful way, like share what they need to share and give them like what they need, without like force or anything like that. It's just like such a loving environment and you're able to really reach them on such a deep level and it really is like watching like a master at work. It's incredible.

Speaker 1: 17:05

Thank, you to do it. Yes, thank you so much. Oh my gosh. Several times during the retreat I was like I have the best job ever. Oh my gosh. You know, thank you so much for saying that. I mean, when you, when you said that earlier, I was just like I don't know, I was kind of like that mind blown emoji to hear that comparison and I don't even know when I started doing that. But I think I just follow my intuition so much now that I just knew that that was what people needed.

Speaker 2: 17:45

Yeah, for sure, and it looks a little different for every person, because that's what they needed, you know.

Speaker 1: 17:51

I really try to follow that. Yeah, yeah, that was so cool. Yeah, thank you. I'm just thinking about this group and I want to share some of the things that made these women unique and special and really created this this beautiful weekend.

Speaker 1: 18:11

Because, even though you'll see, people give me credit Everyone there matters just as much the way that they showed up.

Speaker 1: 18:22

If they didn't show up the way that they showed up, it would have been a completely different experience. I can still be the same person, but if someone keeps their armor on and doesn't allow themselves to be seen and doesn't open up, then it would be different. One of the things that was really unique about this group is they had openness from moment one, essentially, or exercise one, I'll say, because when they first get to the home, everyone gets a full body massage. There's just more winding down time there, but from the first exercise, showing up with a great deal of openness, not holding things back, saying things, even if they were scared, even if they felt like they might be judged, even if they felt like nobody would understand, they let it out and didn't hold back tears. I know, megan, you don't have a comparison to other bravekations, but is there anything else that stands out about this group to you, as you were with them and witnessed them and experienced them.

Speaker 2: 19:35

Yeah, Along the lines of what you're just talking about with openness. I feel like everyone was so willing to be open because they saw the benefit of it. Someone would be open, for example, and have such a breakthrough or such a feeling of calm inside, and then someone would watch that and they would think, okay, this is scary, but I'm going to do it because look what they're experiencing. This other person that was willing to be open I saw that over and over and over again. Just that willingness to be vulnerable, even though it was scary.

Speaker 1: 20:10

Yes, yes, you're right. I have a couple of quotes written down from the retreat and those are coming to mind right now. One person told us outside of this retreat she would have held some feedback that she received in and then been in a bad mood all weekend and if she was at home, she probably would have been showing up maybe a little critical of her husband and her kids. And she said instead I went to bed with a sense of peace, yes, yes. And she said you, guiding me through those emotions, showed me how quickly I can process it, and I think that's really important, because sometimes people think, oh, I'm the type of person that I have to rehash things and work through things and it takes me a long time to. And if you feel that way, you don't have the right tools. Yes, you don't, and I can give them to you. Oh, I love that.

Speaker 2: 21:13

It's so true. Yeah, just having those tools and knowing how to use them it just fast just keeps coming to mind. My changes can happen so fast and so effectively.

Speaker 1: 21:24

Yeah yeah, I don't know if this one is going to come across odd, but I'm going to share another one. One person said I never felt this serene before. I didn't know it was possible and this is the part that you might be like, huh, but I'll caveat it after I share it. She said I didn't know it was possible, without being on opioids or drugs, to feel that serene, and she described it as like all the tabs in her head were closed. She didn't have like all of this chatter and mental noise, and the opioids thing was because she had some major surgeries. So she had been on medication in the past and had that experience, but thought it was just a unique experience to that. And it's not. It's possible to feel serene and fully present and not be ruminating and rehashing, even for people that never experienced that before. Right.

Speaker 2: 22:26

Yeah, yeah. I was just going to say, like people and you've said this before like people think that it's their personality to just feel that anxiousness. But it can totally change and you don't have to feel like all your tabs in your head are open. It can. If you have those tools, it can definitely, like, have that calm feeling you can have.

Speaker 1: 22:47

Yes, it's possible for you too. Aww, yeah, oh, and I, you know what I I think it's worth talking about on here. Every single retreat that I host, at least one person and sometimes multiple people contact me ahead of time telling me that they feel so nervous and so anxious to come. And I know that if a couple reach out that there's probably more that are also feeling it that don't say anything. And one of the women, while she was there I think this was like on day three she said I was scared to come to the retreat, Like I had a call with her in advance too, and she said I got way more than I expected and it feels magical. And I think you resonated with that too, because you do want to tell what you told your husband, Megan, a little bit before.

Speaker 2: 23:44

Yeah, just the magical.

Speaker 1: 23:48

Wow, you were like questioning it and he was like come on, megan.

Speaker 2: 23:52

Oh, yes, yes, yes. So I was also so nervous to go. I mean, it was just a whole new experience for me. I haven't traveled a lot and so just even that experience, like getting on a plane by myself and coming and being with Loom and I never met before the whole thing was just scary. And I was like to my husband. I said I just want to stay home, like I don't want to go, and he said, megan, like your future self wants to be all of these things, like you need to go and do this for your future self. And I talk about my future self a lot to him and he's like you're right, thank you for the reminder. And it's just a reminder to me that when I can do things that are scary, that there's always something amazing on the other side of it. I just have to get through that fearful feeling and it was also something that I would never have thought to experience, like just the magic of all of it.

Speaker 1: 24:46

So and I feel like that pairs well with the last imagery that we did and I think you did. You say that one was your favorite part. Yeah, it was the most. Do you want to?

Speaker 2: 25:01

talk about it. Yes, and you know, when I hear imagery, I've had some really amazing imageries before, but I just didn't know how amazing this would be, because I remember I was like doing something in the kitchen, you're like, no, you're going to want to come and do this one with us and it's like okay, like I'm down for it, I want to do it, and I just wasn't expecting like how impactful it would be. So before the retreat, and for months, probably even years, I've just had this not close relationship with my husband, like emotionally, and it was just on the forefront of my mind, hoping that I could somehow figure this out, and I thought that's probably not going to happen during the retreat, I probably won't figure it out. Then, you know, and the last imagery that we did you just had us imagine like something that we feared, and so I picked that because it is a fear, I just want to be close to him.

Speaker 2: 25:54

And you said to just like imagine the fear, as you said, to imagine it as smoke and anyway I won't go through like all the details of it and to just imagine it as even our friend, and that really like shifted for me. And then on the other side of that and there was a lot more to it. But you just said, okay, like what's on the other side, like after you pass through the fear, like what is waiting for you on the other side. And it just hit me and I think I even have like this audible, like cool, because it was so beautiful. But my husband was standing there just like running to me with open arms, just like full of light, and it was just so cool. And I did not expect that to happen. So it's just really like guided me, thinking okay, like if I want this relationship to happen, like I can make it happen, like I have all the tools that I need to get through the fear that's holding me back.

Speaker 1: 26:53

Yes, yes, I got a little teary eyed listening to that at the retreat and then now just re listening to you talk about it and both of those things that you talked about, like what if fear is not your opponent, like you have not just you, but everyone listening, like you have been feeling like it is. What if fear is your friend? What if fear is the very thing that guides you to being brave and being courageous and having everything that you want? What if fear is the doorway and all you have to do is open the door and walk through? Mm, hmm, mm, hmm. It is. And sometimes it takes these experiences where we can bring images into our mind from our subconscious to really unlock it, because it's one thing to hear me say this and it's a whole another thing to experience it and to know the truth through that experience.

Speaker 2: 27:56

Yeah, and when you say truth, that's something that stood out from this retreat to. It just felt like so much truth and like knowledge, like deep inside me that I know was just like Coming out, and I know that happened for a lot of other people too.

Speaker 1: 28:10

Yeah, as you reflect on it. Is there anything else I don't know, a favorite parts or things that stood out to you?

Speaker 2: 28:20

You know, it's just people have asked me that since I've been home in this last couple of days and it's really hard to put words to it honestly because it was just so like it's like nothing else I've ever experienced before in the most like beautiful way, yeah. Then, when you asked me for like a favorite moment, I'm like, oh, there were just so many, like just the relationships with the other women and the feeling of like total acceptance and like people understood me and just like the love and the hope, and I don't want to say easiness, but like just knowing that it's. There's answers for me that are easy if I choose to use them, like almost like I could solve any problem.

Speaker 1: 29:06

Yes, oh, I love that you said that. Yes, life in that way, life does not have to be hard and it feels hard for most people. Yeah, and when you have the right tools and you have these shifts, it can be easy.

Speaker 2: 29:28

Yes, and you give us such amazing tools like I'm just thinking of even the payoff survey is one of the tools that you have us use and it's really like helps you focus on the root cause of something so that you can have these dramatic shifts. And it's just I keep saying the word magic because that's what it feels like, because I was never given anything else like this and I know the world isn't given these tools either, and so to just have them, it's just feels like such a gift.

Speaker 1: 30:00

Thank you. You're not the only one that that described as magical.

Speaker 2: 30:06

I felt like you were Oprah where she's like, and you get a car, and you get a car. But it was like, and you get a breakthrough, and you get a breakthrough and I'm like I'll take the breakthrough over the car and it's incredible.

Speaker 1: 30:21

Thank you for saying that. I appreciate you so much. I think that's a pretty good recap. I just I don't know. I guess.

Speaker 1: 30:28

Before I end this today, I wanted to share just a few comments that I've received afterwards from women who attended. I had three women who attended for the third time, two women who attended for the second time, and then the other five came for the first time. And one of the women who came for a second time she said as a returned person, I felt like I got even more out of the retreat, which I think speaks to the value and how many layers we have to us, that we can go deeper and deeper and that these concepts and these tools for not just you, because other people said just are like magic. Yeah, yeah. And I got a message from one woman this morning and she said this is her third one. She said the experience just keeps getting better and better and she melted my heart. She's like I'm in awe of you, just how you've evolved and grown and continue to level up. It's so freaking, inspiring. And she said I thank God for you in this life, for me and for all you impact others. And then said that my girls are blessed to have me, and just reading this actually reminded me of something I wanted to share. Something unique that made this group unique is their openness to spirituality, and I'm not gonna get into too much detail here. It's not for me, it's different than having a religious stance and it's just being open to what the universe is doing every day. God, the universe, it is always working in your favor and you have an opportunity to see what is the lesson here, and so I gave an example early on at the retreat about a shift that I made from feeling in my own family, feeling frustrated and asking myself constantly like, why did I get these parents?

Speaker 1: 32:42

Why did I get this family? Why can't I just have a loving family? I want those on the homework card. Like, I can't even buy these cards because of the emotional immaturity that was present in the home that I grew up in, and I resisted it for decades, and actually I guess I'm just gonna go into it right now. So I fought that, I fought that, and, as you listen to what I'm about to say next, I just want you to ask yourself could this be even 1%?

Speaker 1: 33:12

True, I got to the point where I embodied I fully embodied one of the pillars that I teach and it's called activate choice, and I asked myself the question what if I chose them? What if I chose my family? What if I had this? We don't know if this is true. What if I had this handshake with God before being born? And I said these are the things that I wanna learn in this lifetime? And he said this is the family to help you learn them. What if all of the things that I hated from my past perfectly gave me the lessons, the opportunities to learn the lessons, so that I could do this work every single day, so that I could guide hundreds and thousands of women to heal? And I believe that wholeheartedly. And so I shared that toward the beginning of the retreat and in that way, I consider myself very spiritual.

Speaker 1: 34:21

I don't consider myself religious and, yeah, that was just incorporating kind of like an undertone of feeling like how can I feel more supported by God, how can I feel more supported by the universe? And you'll notice I don't advertise like this spiritual piece, but everyone who was present was a perfect fit and aligned in that way, even though they were drastically different in terms of background, where they live, their current experiences, their families. Is that how you saw it, too, megan?

Speaker 2: 35:00

Yeah, yeah, it was. Even though we all have different beliefs, whether it was God or the universe or whatever it was, it was just such a theme throughout all of it, like when thoughts were shared after an imagery, for example, or something like that. It was incredible how much spirituality was put into all of that.

Speaker 1: 35:23

And, yes, definitely yeah oh my gosh, I don't even know where to go from here. It just yeah. I hope that gave everybody listening a good recap of the retreat and kind of immersed you in the experience from the beginning, where we lost a room, to how it was to be there and if you can picture yourself there. I just want to share with you that you can get on the wait list. You will be the first to know when our next retreat is announced and you will receive a special gift for being on the wait list if you choose to move forward.

Speaker 1: 36:02

I'll put this link in the show notes, but if you want to go ahead and type it into your browser, it's wwwbravedashmethodcom. Slash retreat dash wait list. So that's wwwbravedashmethodcom. Slash retreat dash wait list, and I cannot wait to see you there. Thank you for listening today. If you're ready to heal, so that triggering situations no longer control you and so that you can feel empowered, brave and thrive in any situation, dm me the word brave on Instagram and I'll send you a training where you will learn three of the most common mistakes driven women are making that are keeping them stuck in negative emotions, and what you can do instead.