The Broken to Brave Podcast

Breaking Free from Binge Eating with Kelly Lyons

February 13, 2024 Dr. Stephanie Lopez Episode 38
Breaking Free from Binge Eating with Kelly Lyons
The Broken to Brave Podcast
More Info
The Broken to Brave Podcast
Breaking Free from Binge Eating with Kelly Lyons
Feb 13, 2024 Episode 38
Dr. Stephanie Lopez

Have you ever found solace in the last bite of a chocolate bar, only to feel a wave of guilt crash over you moments later? Our guest Kelly Lyons knows that all too well, and she bravely shares her story of wrestling with binge eating and emerging victorious. Her tale is a beacon of hope for women who find themselves in the throes of diet culture, feeling isolated and trapped in a cycle of dieting despair. She takes us through her tumultuous journey where food became both her comfort and her curse, leading her down a path of self-discovery and, ultimately, empowerment.

Kelly's wealth of practical tips and resources might just be the guiding light you’ve been searching for on your path to a healthier relationship with food and self. So, if you're ready to shift from a life of restrictions to one filled with joy and balance, let Kelly's story lead the way.

In this episode, we talk about the following:
1. Overcoming binge eating and overeating through coaching, support, and community.
2. The reason why addressing underlying issues is crucial for long-term recovery.
3. Importance of changing one's relationship with food and body image.

You can connect with Kelly on:
Website www.kellylwellness.com
Instagram @kellylwellness

5-Day BRAVE-cation Healing Retreat:
www.brave-method.com/retreat-priority-list

______________________________________

[FREE TRAINING]
How high-achieving women can
DITCH anxiety in as little as five minutes a day

www.brave-method.com/anxiety

Which of these results do you want and inspire you the most?
www.brave-method.com/testimonials

💗 Dr. Steph
@DrStephanieLopez
www.brave-method.com




Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Have you ever found solace in the last bite of a chocolate bar, only to feel a wave of guilt crash over you moments later? Our guest Kelly Lyons knows that all too well, and she bravely shares her story of wrestling with binge eating and emerging victorious. Her tale is a beacon of hope for women who find themselves in the throes of diet culture, feeling isolated and trapped in a cycle of dieting despair. She takes us through her tumultuous journey where food became both her comfort and her curse, leading her down a path of self-discovery and, ultimately, empowerment.

Kelly's wealth of practical tips and resources might just be the guiding light you’ve been searching for on your path to a healthier relationship with food and self. So, if you're ready to shift from a life of restrictions to one filled with joy and balance, let Kelly's story lead the way.

In this episode, we talk about the following:
1. Overcoming binge eating and overeating through coaching, support, and community.
2. The reason why addressing underlying issues is crucial for long-term recovery.
3. Importance of changing one's relationship with food and body image.

You can connect with Kelly on:
Website www.kellylwellness.com
Instagram @kellylwellness

5-Day BRAVE-cation Healing Retreat:
www.brave-method.com/retreat-priority-list

______________________________________

[FREE TRAINING]
How high-achieving women can
DITCH anxiety in as little as five minutes a day

www.brave-method.com/anxiety

Which of these results do you want and inspire you the most?
www.brave-method.com/testimonials

💗 Dr. Steph
@DrStephanieLopez
www.brave-method.com




Speaker 1:

Hi, I'm Dr Steph and I'm here to guide you on your journey to healing from a difficult relationship with your mother, whether she was narcissistic, emotionally immature or just plain toxic. I want you to know that you are in fact, not broken and you do not have to suffer from anxiety or explosive emotional reactions like lashing out. You can break the cycle. You are a strong, capable woman who can handle any challenge that comes your way, and I'm going to show you how to have the ultimate control over your reactions so that you are unstoppable. Welcome to the Broken to Brave podcast.

Speaker 1:

Today I have Kelly Lyons on here. I'm going to interview her about her story and what she does is she helps women overcome binge eating, and she's going to tell you a lot more about that. But first I just want to share how I met her. So we have the same business mentor and she's super outgoing. So she volunteered on a couple calls and I was like I like her. She was doing a hot seat and I'm like I like her. So I sent her a message and I was like good luck on your upcoming launch for your business. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And she's like oh, thanks. And then I followed up a few weeks later and chatted with her and then at one point, you guys are going to die. I just sent Kelly a message and I was like I think I literally said can we be friends? And she was like of course.

Speaker 2:

I was like who is this crazy person? No, I'm just kidding.

Speaker 1:

Like who does that? But I was like I just want to be friends with her, so I'm going to ask oh my gosh, I never would have done that in the past.

Speaker 2:

No, I'm just yeah, I'm so happy to be here and, yeah, we became fast friends. And, believe me, if anyone is like, can we be friends, I'm like hell, yes, we can talk about becoming friends as an adult.

Speaker 1:

It is not easy.

Speaker 2:

So when you said that, we're all right girl, and now we're in like multiple group chats with different people, we're on each other's podcast, so I am so happy to be here, steph, thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for coming. Okay, I'm going to just turn it over to you. Tell us a little bit about who you are.

Speaker 2:

Yeah Well, hello everyone. I'm so excited to be here. So my name is Kelly Lyons and what I do is I help women stop binge eating and stop overeating so they can finally feel in control around food. And the way that I do that is I have a community where women who have struggled can come together and they get coaching calls, they get 24 seven support, they get courses and programs, because when people struggle with this, it can be very isolating, and my goal is to be the person that I wish I had when I was struggling and we're going to get deep into my story, but I struggled for a long, long time because I was focusing on the wrong thing. So that's what I do, that's who I help, and I am so honored and so blessed to be able to do that.

Speaker 1:

And I am so excited to share you with everyone today because I've just, you know, now for a year plus been watching your stories and seeing the testimonials come through, and it's incredible seeing the results that you're able to help everyone get so that they don't have the struggle that you had or it doesn't last as long as it did with you. So let's just dive into that. What was life like when you were struggling?

Speaker 2:

Oh gosh, yeah. So if you've ever like seen my stuff on social media, one of the things I love to say is I binged and was food obsessed for 12 years, so you don't have to be anymore because I struggled for so long and it started probably, I want to say, like my senior year of high school and just to not spend too much time there. But around that time you know everyone's figuring out what their next step is, where they want to go to college, what they want to major in, what they want to do. And I was someone who really loved high school. I loved my friends, who are still my best friends to this day. I loved playing sports. I loved that environment. I was a homebody and the fear of taking that next chapter, when I didn't know what I want to do, was terrifying to me. And I loved playing sports. And sports ended and I went from getting home at seven o'clock at night to getting home at 2 pm. My parents were still at work. I didn't know where I wanted to apply to school, I didn't know where I wanted to be and I just felt so lost and alone and I turned to food and I quickly realized that I could eat and then, because I had my license as a badass senior, I could go rebuy the food so no one would know and it was like my little secret. But then immediately I had to lose that weight. Because I put on weight fast, right, I went from playing soccer six times a week to doing absolutely nothing and eating a ton. And then I started Weight Watchers and my first diet led me, put me in a black hole for so long because what I was doing was I was counting calories, counting my points, eating perfectly, and then I would lose weight at the weigh-in right and to celebrate I would eat and I would eat and eat and eat. But then I knew, okay, I got to eat perfect before my next weigh-in and it was around and around and around and that one diet led to 50 diets. That one time, eating way too much to celebrate, turned to. Every time the scale was either down or up. I would binge in private and then get back on track the next day. And this lasted 12 years.

Speaker 2:

And it's so interesting to talk about because people in my life who have been in my personal life for a while they love hearing my story. They're so supportive. They were like I had no idea you struggled and here's why, oh my gosh, did I hide it? I feel like I could be a private investigator if I wanted to, because of the way I hid everything.

Speaker 2:

So like if me and you were out to dinner, for example, stuff back in the day I was always looking like the person who was healthy. I was getting the grilled chicken salad dressing on the side, you know, a diet coke for me, and I was the one who was always dieting. I was always the one who was eating. Well, going to the gym at 5am, doing all the things, but then I would leave dinner and I would hit like McDonald's, burger King, wendy's, or I would go home and eat in private and then try to make it up at the gym the next morning. So from the outside, looking in, nobody knew I had this struggle and I honestly felt like I was living two different lives. Wow, can I ask a question about that? Oh my gosh. Of course I'm about the. I always rant. So if you ever want to.

Speaker 1:

No, it's okay, I love it. Yeah, no, just curiosity peaked for me. Is it common that people don't know? I personally, I haven't struggled with binge eating, so I just hearing you say that I'm like, oh, like that's common for people.

Speaker 2:

It's for people who struggle with binge eating. A lot of times, the biggest emotion behind that is shame and guilt. So not only are you eating to cope with any shame and guilt that you have, you then no-transcript have that, those emotions again because you just ate and what a vicious cycle? Oh my gosh, it is. And that keeps it inside. Yeah, because you know, if you're inhaling food and completely just going at it and someone comes in, it's a very, it's a very vulnerable place to be. So a lot of times, people hide it.

Speaker 2:

And you know there are people who, if you're struggling with this, you may have talked about it with people. So for me, I remember telling people that I love, like I can't stop eating. There's something wrong with me and you know what the best advice I got was we'll just stop eating.

Speaker 1:

I wish you fixed it.

Speaker 2:

I'm cured, thank you I had no idea that was the answer.

Speaker 2:

I swear and it's like yeah and then obviously now looking back, they obviously had the best intentions. They don't have the training or whatever, but it's like right. Then you get angry, like why can't I figure this out? Why can't I just do that easy thing? Why can't I just stop eating?

Speaker 2:

And this is I mean you know, steph, I'm an open book but like a very distinct memory that I have and I actually shared this in my previous episode, one of my podcasts was I'm sitting in my car and I got wrappers and bags and everything and I'm having the milkshake and I think I'm on like my third or fourth McDonald's cheeseburger and as I'm doing it, I am sobbing and I'm eating and I'm sobbing and I'm hidden in a parking lot behind like my old middle school that I went to and it was super late at night and I'm just sobbing and I just remember saying out loud why can't I figure this out? I am smart, I work hard, I'm athletic, I'm a good person. Why can I not do the most basic thing that I was given since the day I was born? Where did it go? Why don't I know how to eat? And it was really hard and to this day, like I'm years out of that and I still have the chills when I talk about that.

Speaker 1:

I got teary eyes.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, thank you. Yeah, because it's just such a. It's such a shame and guilt. What is wrong with me? Why am I? Why, why can't I do this? How, how am I failing my body? And that self hate though, it gets you to keep eating. So again, it's this constant cycle. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And that line that you just said, like why can't I figure that out? That is so relatable. So relatable, I mean, so many of my clients feel that way, whether they struggle with anxiety or overthinking or ruminating or rage or yelling. Like, why can't I figure it out? Because, honestly, like we're not taught to address the root cause yeah, taught to address the symptoms, and you can only, like, put a bandaid on for so long.

Speaker 2:

And you saying that that hits with these food struggles so much because that's what I did. I only fixed the symptoms. So, like, the things that I tried to do was okay, well, paleo didn't work. Now I got to go back to Weight Watchers. Oh, weight Watchers doesn't work. All right, let's get out the juicer, let's, and just diet after diet after diet.

Speaker 2:

And one time, for the people in my membership, I made a list of all the diets I did and it was well, it was well over 50. And I failed every single one of them. But here's the thing in my eyes, I was the problem, even though the system is designed to keep you stuck and designed to keep you failing, because they need you to keep failing so you can stay a consumer for the diet industry. It was my fault and one of the things, like I love to say and it's so, it's such a big perspective, like so we know, you know, diets have a 95% failure rate, except we are, we blame ourselves. But now let's take that right. Every time we're the problem, we're the issue. But now let's put that in a different perspective. What if you want to trip to a beautiful island and you're about to walk in the plane and the pilot comes out and says welcome aboard to Fiji Airlines. Here's your warm towel. The plane has a 95% chance of crashing your seat 12B.

Speaker 1:

enjoy, you're not gonna be like oh, thank you for my walls.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you're not gonna be like. Oh, I'm sorry, what seat am I? Okay, thanks have. I'll take a glass of champagne, please, you'd be like.

Speaker 1:

Oh my God, Kelly, that was so good. That was so good. No, everybody would get off immediately.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you'd be like, see, but for some reason we continue to do the diet over and over and we take the warm towel, we take the glass of champagne and we continue to do it Just do it over and over. Rather than yeah. What the hell why?

Speaker 1:

am I doing this still Right? And hearing you say over 50, I saw it was a little bit after my little one was born. I was like watching somebody's Instagram stories and I saw this post and it was asking women, how many years have you been dieting? And some of them, kelly, you're not going to be shocked. We're like 30 years, 40 years and I was like that shocked. I have goosebumps right now. That shocked my entire system and in that moment like that's a that was a moment for me I was like I will change this for my children, like I will not continue this. I will not. And it really hit me hard because after Sophie, I struggled more to lose weight. It was the pandemic and all kinds of stuff. The first pregnancy lost all the weight really quickly. Second one I would like lose 10 pounds, gain 10 pounds, lose 10 pounds yeah, you know and so. But then seeing that, I was like I'm not really sure exactly what I'm gonna do, but I will break this for my girls. I'm not gonna keep this up.

Speaker 2:

And you should be so proud of yourself and you know so many women who join my community. Their big reason and the biggest result that they get is I can't believe that, like I now am not passing this to my children and I'm gonna try not to cry when I say this but around Halloween someone said in the group you know she put a, she talked about this inside the community and she said I am sitting here sobbing because I went trick or treating with my girls and they asked if I wanted a piece of chocolate and I said yes and they started cheering mommy can eat with us now.

Speaker 2:

And like I'm literally like trying not to get choked up here. And she said you have given me a gift that I'd never know, I never would have had. And we don't see the things that we say and the things that we do that affect the people around us. And you know, your kids are young. I have a almost four year old which is crazy to say and a one and a half year old, and they see everything, they repeat everything. And now we have roles in this house. We do not talk about our bodies. We do not talk about foods that are good and bad. Nobody will comment on the amount that my children eat or do not eat.

Speaker 2:

And what we are doing they're gonna listen to their bodies Exactly, and what we are doing is we are breaking that cycle, and that is something that is so profound, and we don't see the ramifications of what we do until it's already done you know, yeah, that resonates so much.

Speaker 1:

Oh my gosh, I know I literally cried on that. One Did not think we would be crying on this episode, no, no. I am a crier. I cry all the time, me too.

Speaker 2:

Me too, and that's why we're friends, and that is why we're friends. We're good yeah.

Speaker 2:

And just to kind of go back to the things that I did to try to fix it. You know, yeah, I was focused on the external. So I had all the diets, everything under the sun, right, and then everything was well. I need to exercise more, and at this time in my life I actually worked at a gym. So you wanna talk about someone who is the epitome of health from the outside looking in. I worked at a gym so I would work, but then in between that I was going to the gym, in between my classes, three times a day. So people who at the gym, who knew me on a personal level, up Kelly's at the gym again and I was working out more. I was making sure I would eat perfect, and then I was doing, you know, having more willpower or putting more rules on thinking that it was just me not working hard enough.

Speaker 1:

Right, it's not a willpower thing. It is not that you're not working hard enough.

Speaker 2:

No, and I'll tell you what. We use willpower in a lot of different ways that we don't even realize, and as a mom, I know you get this too right. My willpower slowly runs out. When I'm not screaming at my kids at seven in the morning, when they're driving me nuts, right, that takes willpower. It takes willpower to not tell your boss off when they drive you insane. It takes willpower to not crash into the car. That just cut you off. We use willpower in so many different ways and for people who struggle with eating at night or binging, a lot of the biggest time usually is at night, for a couple of different reasons, but one of them is because your willpower tank has run out already and you're trying to use willpower when you don't have any left, because you don't use willpower to make food choices.

Speaker 2:

But that is a bandaid that we were taught and that's the problem.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, yes, yes. I've heard so many women say that too, like I just don't have enough willpower and I'm like I'm sharing some of your stuff lately. I'm like it's not a willpower thing.

Speaker 2:

I mean willpower. You're not. No doctor is finding willpower on an autopsy. No doctor is saying, yep, that person had willpower. That one didn't. Except we use that to determine our lives all the time. And that was really. I was using so many band aids to try to fix the problem and that was those were probably the biggest.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, okay, that makes sense, and I feel like that's what most people are doing, so I can't wait to transition into where are you now? What did you discover?

Speaker 2:

Like, talk us through that, oh my gosh, where am I now? Besides being so blessed that I went through that, because, like, if you told me again gonna try not to cry, if you told me that that girl in the car sobbing and just not knowing what to do with her life and how this happened, if you told me that that girl was now going to help thousands of women all over the world get past this, I would have not believed you in this light. So my first thing is like I'm so blessed for that struggle because that got me to where I am now. And I think a lot of times I tell my members especially moms who want to pass on these new habits and these new thoughts and beliefs to their children, of being on the other side. Now you would not have been able to do that if you didn't go through this struggle, right?

Speaker 2:

Because you now know what you're not going to be for your children and what your children are not going to see and experience because of what you went through.

Speaker 1:

So we can hate ourselves.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we can hate ourselves as much as we want. But we have to see it with graciousness, because now we're passing on the changes to the most important people in our life. So that's one. So first having the compassion and the graciousness, and just the gratitude for that struggle, but, oh my goodness, where am I at now? I think the most important thing is food is not the forefront of my life, and when I was struggling I couldn't be present in anything. My family and I were going on vacation. In a couple of days we're going to Aruba and I've never been-.

Speaker 1:

You're not dieting like crazy to get I am not-. Lose the last five pounds, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Right, I'm not eating like the lettuce and leaves off trees to be that perfect weight. Right, I'm looking up restaurants, I'm looking up the excursions and, yes, my old vacations and trips and all those things. I couldn't be present because once I got on vacation, I was like in binge drink and binge eat mode because there was no point of still detoxing because I wasn't where I wanted. So why am I going to keep being miserable anyway? I'll just detox when I get home. So that entire trip was just like a window as to when how much can I eat before I have to detox again. So I was missing out on vacation, I was missing out on time with my friends, I was missing out on the weather and the memories and all these things.

Speaker 2:

And now I can be present with the things that actually matter in my life, and here's I love food. I am a self-proclaimed foodie. My husband and my favorite thing to do is go out and try new restaurants. But it doesn't take over my life. It is not more important than the things that actually make my life the beautiful thing that it is.

Speaker 1:

You know, and then you like 10 years ago, 12 years ago oh sorry, did I cut you off? They're 10 years ago, 12 years ago, you like would, you would have never imagined that you would be saying this right now.

Speaker 2:

Never. And the fact that like it's so interesting because this happened. This happened to me in the beginning, but this happens to so many members too. When they're talking about their wins, they're like it's so crazy that you don't realize that, like, wow, I haven't thought about food in three hours. And you're like, is this what it's like? And you're kind of questioning, like, is that OK, is that normal, is that? Oh my gosh, is this what life is like?

Speaker 2:

When you have a meal, you put your fork down and then you go live your life and then, four or five hours later, you're like, wow, I'm hungry again. And you're like, holy crap, I haven't thought about food. And it's such a beautiful thing where you can use your brain space on things that actually matter and just being able to do this in front of you know my children, and not even the binge eating and food obsession side, but also this entrepreneurial side where, like you, can help people. What you say and what you went through and what you're going to go through, it matters. So, and I know I can say the same for you, and I think one of the biggest things and what a lot of people don't realize until they see the other side is how the lack of food obsession and the no longer struggling, how it elevates the rest of your life. Right, and I've noticed this with myself.

Speaker 2:

But some things that my members say is their relationships got better, their sex life got better with their partner because they just felt more comfortable in their skin. They got the courage. They got the courage to ask for the promotion. Right, they went out. One of my members said I isolated and I didn't want to see my friends because of how I felt about myself. She's like, and now I'm seeing my friends again. Right, your social life goes back to the way you wish it was, unless you're like me and you're like I'd much rather lie on the couch or watch TV. That's also fine too.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, Whatever, whatever way you want it to be you are just so much more comfortable in your skin and you don't realize that every other aspect of your life elevates, because you are not focusing on the thing that is hurting you anymore and you are able to change that? At the root and everything else around you changes.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. This is so good.

Speaker 2:

I feel like that's just the tip of the iceberg. You know we could talk about it for hours, but I think those are the really, really big things. And also to just being able to eat normally and have my weight and the way I feel. I you know, when I was struggling it was like because I was dieting so much. If I had a banana and then stepped on the scale the next morning, I would be a couple pounds heavier, right.

Speaker 2:

And just no longer the crazy weight fluctuations and like the size of the clothes and every single size, because if you're having a fat day or a skinny day, it's just you are who you are, you know, and this so much Right. And just exercising because you appreciate your body, not to lose weight, not because you hate it, exactly, you're exercising and you actually enjoy it again because you are doing it for reasons that change your life. For example, for me, I now exercise so I'm more patient with my children, I'm kinder, I have more energy, I sleep better, and I do it because it's me time and rather than because I have to get in the smaller size possible, and then exercise is a punishment. So your whole relationship with exercise changes too, among a million other things.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that makes sense, and so I know that we said before you were, you know, putting a bandaid on it and addressing the symptoms and the root cause. To really get into that we would need a lot more time. That's why you have the membership now, so you can help people. But is there anything that you want to say around that specific? Yes, oh my goodness.

Speaker 2:

So yeah, like Steph said, I was really just doing the bandaid, which obviously did not work and just made everything worse, and I realized that there was a lot of inner work that had to be done. And the reasons why, because when you are, there are different reasons, but one of the biggest ones for me was I was turning to food because it was a response to one of my needs that were not being met, and just my personality in general I was, and you know, I'm getting better. I'm getting a lot better, I should say, is I was a very big people pleaser. I did everything for everybody and I wanted people to like me.

Speaker 2:

And when I was younger and when I was struggling, I was a partier, I was a big drinker. I even if I didn't want to go out, I would say yes, I just couldn't miss anything because for me that meant I was liked and I had friends and people wanted to be around me.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

And what happened was I would do all those things, but then I had nothing for me, I had no me time, and I was giving my energy to not only things that I didn't want to do, but giving my energy to other people and not myself. So when I finally had that small window of time, I needed comfort and I needed energy, and I needed to do something that made me happy, and that was in the form of food.

Speaker 1:

Yes, so that's right. Yeah, yeah, I know people are going to resonate with that, so much.

Speaker 2:

I mean when people talk about people pleasing the amount of women especially that struggle with. That is so it's, it's it's heartbreaking, honestly.

Speaker 1:

It really, is it really?

Speaker 2:

is I remember?

Speaker 1:

recovering people, pleaser as well, yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2:

Yes, recovering definitely getting a lot better, but it's hard and I think it's always going to be a journey for everybody, myself included. And so for me, I had to figure out what needs were not being met for me. Right, I had no me time, I had no form of self care, I wasn't doing anything for me and the joy that it brought me. I was doing things to fit into a box that other people wanted me to be in. So I really had to. I had to find myself and I had to really take the time to figure that out, and once I did that, the food lessened a little bit. And obviously that is just one piece to a very large puzzle. But you know, something else that I did was I had to. I had to. I had to let go of the rules that I was putting myself with food on with food. And a lot of people hear that and they say, oh my gosh, but if I don't have rules, I'm just going to eat everything, right?

Speaker 1:

They're. They're terrified, but it's not like that they're terrified and I totally get that.

Speaker 2:

And actually, you know, in my membership we walk you through that process step by step, because that light bulb of oh my God, if I don't have rules, then I'm just going to lose control. No, the reason you lose control is because you have rules.

Speaker 1:

Right, it's because it's too stringent.

Speaker 2:

Exactly, and I don't know why I miss metaphor today, but one of them I love it. If you take a very quick step. I said you couldn't think about giraffes. You can think about anything but giraffes for the next 10 seconds.

Speaker 1:

I'm just immediately popped in my head Immediately yes, it's either giraffe or oh my God, I can't think about giraffes.

Speaker 2:

So you're still thinking about them, right? You tell yourself you can't have something you immediately like. What do you mean? You're inner chat, we have a temper tantrum and you start seeing them everywhere giraffes or cupcakes or whatever it is.

Speaker 2:

Whatever it is yeah, you see them everywhere. You notice when people are eating them. You are hyper fixated on what other people are eating and what you're not allowed to eat, so you literally become obsessed. And when you don't have food rules, it's not this whole. Okay, let's throw caution to the wind. Mcdonald's is down the street. The bakery's this way Go nuts. It's no. I actually am able to listen to my body with this process and give myself the freedom of choice, grounded in who I am and what my identity is, not because I told myself I can't have a cookie, and that's when you're not allowed to eat. I don't want to say easily, simply, maybe simple, but not easy. You'll notice that the pull to food slowly dissipates because then, over time, a cupcake has the same mental load in your brain as vegetables, because you don't have this pull towards it, because you're not putting these stringent rules around them.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, absolutely yes, yes, yes, that makes complete sense, for sure. I have tried to explain that to a couple of people I know, but in one ear out the other is what it seems like I'm like okay, well, I'll just share. Kelly's post now.

Speaker 2:

Well, I appreciate that and it's funny, and we've heard this from our lovely business mentor. You know, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. People can hear the same things over and over and over, absolutely. And when I was starting this business, one of my girlfriends I know that she really, really struggled with this as well, and I know that because the basis of our friendship in the beginning was built on this struggle, and she asked me what I was doing and she was super supportive and I would ask her, like listen, I would love to teach you and I would love to help you.

Speaker 2:

And it was just kind of like, eh, you know, okay, yeah, maybe one day, just, and I'm not going to push, you know, if somebody doesn't want my help, whatever. And then finally it was like okay, cal, like I'm ready, do you think we can do this? And she had the most incredible transformation. And she was also, you know, she was a bride at that time, she was getting married, and so talk about not only these crazy restrictions and this struggle, but then the pressure of getting married right and the transformation she had was so profound and I was like you know what like this is? This is it. I am on to something and I'm going to help millions, and you know she wasn't ready in the beginning.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, but not everybody is, and that's okay, not everyone is, and that's okay.

Speaker 2:

I'm always like I'm here. I'm here when you need, and it's a. It's a really hard pill to swallow, but the majority of people will get there to that point because they don't realize that the thing that they're doing is keeping them stuck until you do it over and over and over and you know you are going to hit a wall. Yeah, you know, and and it's it's. Unfortunately, that's. That's the way it is, and I'm sure you have a lot of people with that experience in your community as well.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely yeah. I have one curious question about what you said. Okay, so this is at the beginning of the episode you mentioned that you would celebrate with food, and it was was turned into this cycle. It's like whether you did well or you didn't do well. I know you wouldn't categorize it like that anymore than you would celebrate with food or or go the opposite way with food, and I know that so many people celebrate with food and I wonder if that piece now has shifted for you, if you're finding yourself celebrating your wins like in other ways that's a that's a really good question.

Speaker 2:

So first I would celebrate, but I would also cope with food. So like, for example, if the scale was down, yes, let's celebrate. I did so good, I deserve it, let's go eat that. The dad just eat everything until I had to start over. But then, if the scale was up, even like an ounce, I would be like, oh my.

Speaker 1:

God, I tried everything, nothing works.

Speaker 2:

Why am I even bothering? So it's like you. You couldn't win. And celebrating with food. Now, you know, let's. For example, when we go away, I am so excited to try all the food, right? Yeah, do we celebrate by going out to dinner with something? Absolutely. Do we celebrate, you know, birthdays with birthday cakes? Yes, but at the same time, we know there's so many other ways to celebrate, right?

Speaker 2:

When, my, when I was yeah, when I was tunnel vision on the food, I would celebrate, I would cope, I would comfort, I would numb, I would be happy. Everything ended at food. And now, because I'm so in tune with my emotions and I'm able to name and process them rather than shove them down, I can celebrate normally, whether that's going on a trip or getting my nails done or you know, look up, like two weeks ago I was having a really hard time with mom life and I said I just need a day with my best friend.

Speaker 2:

We had a day in her, went out to lunch and we walked around with coffee and like essentially that's celebrating with food, but it was.

Speaker 1:

it's nothing like the way it was, it looked. Yeah, it looks totally different, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, love that. Thank you, okay, so let's see. Do you have anything else you want to share before I ask you, like a couple, just last two questions.

Speaker 2:

Um, I think the biggest thing is I always want people because we do this thing, especially as women and people please, or everything is always our fault, we're not good enough, we're not strong enough, we're not thin enough, we're not tall enough, whatever and I want anyone who is listening. If you are feeling like, wow, this is me, this is exactly what I've been going through, I want you to cut yourself some slack. I want you to know it is not your fault and that there is a way out. And I am getting chills like you wouldn't believe, because we have been taught that if you are struggling with this, it's on you and you're the problem and you're the issue, and you're not strong enough and you are weak. You, you, you, you, you. Rather than hey, let's take a look at my environment and what I'm doing to myself. It is not your fault and it is fixable. So I I just want to give people that comfort and knowing that it is going to be okay. So I think that's the big like message that I want to send to people.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for saying that. I was going to ask you something along that lines Like what would you want to tell somebody who was feeling stuck or broken or feeling shame, you know anything like that. So that was, that's perfect. How can everybody find you?

Speaker 2:

Oh, so the best place to find me is Instagram, so you can find me on Instagram at Kelly L wellness, and I also have a podcast where I will be graciously presents with Dr Stephanie as well, and the podcast is the food freedom society podcast. And in my podcast and Instagram I do tips, resources, I have free trainings all the time and I think the beautiful thing is what we help women with is so parallel and so connected, so I think our message will resonate no matter what you're struggling with.

Speaker 1:

I totally agree. Thank you so much for coming on today. I'll link your Instagram and your podcast in the show notes too. Thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 2:

I had a blast.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for listening today. If you're ready to heal, so that triggering situations no longer control you and so that you can feel empowered, brave and thrive in any situation, dm me the word brave on Instagram and I'll send you a training where you will learn three of the most common mistakes driven women are making that are keeping them stuck in negative emotions, and what you can do instead.

From Broken to Brave
Break the Cycle of Dieting
Transforming Relationships and Self-Perception
Find Kelly L Wellness on Instagram