Ever felt lost in a cycle of struggle, buried under reactions you can’t control? In this episode, I highlight the impact of seeking expert guidance in both personal development and business. Drawing on a powerful client story, we'll explore the transformative effects of inner work when faced with significant challenges.
Join me to learn about the importance of mentorship, community, and the choice to empower ourselves through expert support, and finally break free from self-imposed struggles and embrace a path of resilience and clarity.
In this episode, I talk about the following: 1. The importance of mentorship, and community in personal and professional development. 2. The reasons why you should be seeking expert help in both personal development and business. 3. How engaging in inner work is helpful to overcome struggles and choose your reactions in life.
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[FREE TRAINING] How high-achieving women can DITCH anxiety in as little as five minutes a day www.brave-method.com/anxiety
Ever felt lost in a cycle of struggle, buried under reactions you can’t control? In this episode, I highlight the impact of seeking expert guidance in both personal development and business. Drawing on a powerful client story, we'll explore the transformative effects of inner work when faced with significant challenges.
Join me to learn about the importance of mentorship, community, and the choice to empower ourselves through expert support, and finally break free from self-imposed struggles and embrace a path of resilience and clarity.
In this episode, I talk about the following: 1. The importance of mentorship, and community in personal and professional development. 2. The reasons why you should be seeking expert help in both personal development and business. 3. How engaging in inner work is helpful to overcome struggles and choose your reactions in life.
______________________________________
[FREE TRAINING] How high-achieving women can DITCH anxiety in as little as five minutes a day www.brave-method.com/anxiety
Hi, I'm Dr Steph and I'm here to guide you on your journey to healing from a difficult relationship with your mother, whether she was narcissistic, emotionally immature or just plain toxic. I want you to know that you are, in fact, not broken and you do not have to suffer from anxiety or explosive emotional reactions like lashing out. You can break the cycle. You are a strong, capable woman who can handle any challenge that comes your way, and I'm going to show you how to have the ultimate control over your reactions so that you are unstoppable. Welcome to the Broken to Brave podcast. Welcome back. I hope this week has been absolutely incredible for you and if you're listening to this for the first time this podcast I am so happy that you're here and I hope you enjoy this episode.
Speaker 1:
I was at a conference last week and while I was there, I received a message from a client about something that happened to her and, honestly, what happened to her was pretty insane I'd say like objectively not great and her response was probably different than you would expect. I'd like to share that with you, but before I dive into that, I want to mention more about this business conference that I went to last week. It was hosted by James Wedmore and I've got to say it's at the top of my list for best experiences overall as an entrepreneur I am. Today. I'm sitting here so fired up and so excited for what's to come over the next 12 months. Get ready, anyways. The event, the mentorship, the community, the experience was top notch. You know I host retreats and in-person events and I love them. There is something that can't really be replicated between being in-person and being in the room. So if you have an opportunity to get in the room with people who are on the same journey or a similar journey as you do it, just do it. You know also that I'm a huge proponent of personal development and inner work. I wouldn't have this podcast if that weren't the case, and you know I'm not just sitting over here recommending it for you and considering myself all good, most definitely not. It's not a check the box activity. So I walk the talk every single day and since a month after I started my business, I have consistently invested in a mentor, a coach or a business program sometimes multiple at the same time as well as learning even more about my craft and how to guide you to even bigger breakthroughs, because I want you to have the most incredible life and as someone who previously identified as hyper-independent and a perfectionist, it would have been easy for me to tell myself that I need to figure all of this out on my own, both the inner work piece and the business piece. And I'm curious if you resonate with that.
Speaker 1:
What struggle in your life are you trying to overcome all by yourself, or at least without really being supported and held by an expert? I want you to really take a moment to think about that for a moment. Trying to do it yourself without leaning on an expert is kind of like putting a puzzle together without having the lid. How there's the picture of what the puzzle should look like on the lid of the box. I mean, can you imagine doing that seriously? If I asked you before saying that maybe I should have done it that way, what is the most important part of a puzzle? You probably would have some the edges right. Usually we think of the edges as the most important part, and I get it. But it is actually the picture on the lid of the box, because that shows you your North Star and it gives you clear guidance on what the big picture outcome looks like. And it gives you guidance on how to achieve it.
Speaker 1:
So, as you think about your own life, where in your life are you just googling topics, reading the books, listening to podcasts to solve your problem, without really seeking expert help? And you know, while there's nothing wrong with that journey, it's not what I choose or recommend, because in doing so, you are very, very likely creating more struggle in your life. And when you think about it like this, you are choosing to struggle. And if your immediate reaction to is oh my god, steph, I'm not choosing to struggle, come on, this is just the way that I am. I've always been a people pleaser. I'm just an anxious person. You know, I've always been a perfectionist. This is just the way that I am. I get it, you know. I know that you don't know how good it can be and you might be scared to dive in and really do the work, to feel through it, to process it, if that makes sense. And before I keep going there, I had another thought come up, so I want to take a, you know, left turn for a moment. Okay, let's go back to when I said you are choosing to struggle. If you were like who the f does she think she is. I get it. I get it. Okay. I want you to just consider this Did your one or both of your parents struggle?
Speaker 1:
Were you raised in that environment? Because I was, and so you can think of it like this you were modeled that that is how life works, and so it's very likely that you will follow in those footsteps. I know that was the case. It's almost like the environment that we're raised in and how we see our parents behaving sets a precedence for our reality and for the way things work. So I just want you to sit with that for a moment, wanted to circle back there just in case. I triggered you by saying that. But if you've been here for a while, you're probably like I'm used to it. If not, let me know. I'm curious, okay.
Speaker 1:
And then again, if your reaction was I'm not really struggling, that's just the way that I am, I get that, and you don't know how good it can be. And you, you might be scared to dive in and to really do the work and to feel through and process everything, like I said. So you know, I ran into someone when I was at the conference who struggles with anxiety regularly, intrusive thoughts as well, and I just looked at her and I said several times at the conference why are we not working together? Because she knew me already. You know, I'm not like some stranger, like why are we not working together? And I'm like I can help you, and she's like I know, I know I don't want to feel it, I'm not ready to feel it. It's going to hurt. That's what she said. It's going to hurt. And while I get that fear and I get that, the fear is a super common fear people have and it's a really common narrative out there in the world, even among coaches and experts. And here's what I'm just my response to that Fuck, that it does not have to hurt.
Speaker 1:
Saying that healing hurts reminds me of when I was pregnant in 2017. And I was reading this book by Inna May I think it's called Inna May's Guide to Childbirth and you know what she says in the book Childbirth isn't painful. Fear creates pain. And if your immediate reaction is okay, come on, steph, you are taking this too far, like I can ask anybody and they say childbirth is painful. Just pump the brakes for a second and follow me here and just maybe consider what if this is even one percent true? What if? Look at it like that. Okay, so we're trying this on for a second. Fear creates pain, and I'm gonna say back in 2017, when I read that, that blew my mind because that's not what I had ever heard before.
Speaker 1:
So I started looking for evidence that this could be true, and let me tell you what I found. There are hundreds and hundreds and hundreds I mean thousands come on of women who do not experience birth as a painful experience. And I know right now you might be thinking, okay, everybody has a different pain, tolerance, stuff. Come on, that's probably why, and I'll just say maybe to that. But what if you're wrong? What if fear creates pain? And what if that applies to everything in your life? Sit here and do an evaluation of your life right now. The next time that you are experiencing something as painful, I want you to ask yourself the honest question Is fear present right now? Am I afraid? Because when I work with my clients, I give them the exact tools in the absolute acceptance pillar to drastically reduce fear so that the healing experience can be quick and painless. And you know what I hear all the time that it's liberating, that it's freeing.
Speaker 1:
I'm not gonna say you're not going to cry. You're probably gonna cry. Do another side tangent here? So, again, at the conference, I was walking with someone who is a client and we ran into somebody else who was a client of mine very recently and that person mentioned crying. And the person next to me knows her and she was like wait, what you crying? And she's like, yeah, steph got me. So I'm not gonna promise no tears, but you can think of tears as releasing what is no longer serving you. Okay, so it does not have to be painful.
Speaker 1:
Let's circle back to that client that I mentioned when I started this episode. I'm gonna refer to her as Stacy, because she would like to remain anonymous with this story. So she was recently served papers that someone is suing her. Someone is suing her for $30,000. I want you to really answer this question right now how would you react if you were sued? 30 grand?
Speaker 1:
Stacy told me had I not done the work with you, steph, had I not worked with you, that would have taken me out. That is a direct quote. She said she would have felt torn up on the inside. She would have felt like she had no options. She said it would have been catastrophic for her and that she most likely would have closed her business and went and got a day job, went back to corporate. But guess what? That is not even remotely close to what happened. Upon reading the papers, she had an immediate moment where her stomach dropped. You know that physical feeling of your stomach dropping. That is what happened Then in an instant. The next thought was what are you going to choose? That is what she thought to herself.
Speaker 1:
Next, because of the inner work that we have done together, stacey's amygdala, the emotional part of her brain, did not hijack her. She experienced a state of clarity rather than a state of overthinking and ruminating and just swirling in it. She had a state of clarity and she was able to take next steps with that clear mind. She reached out to the appropriate parties, like an attorney, an individual who is an expert in that particular part of her business, as well as other business owners, asking if there was anything that she was like not thinking of or forgetting or not covering. She also told me she was like I was able to Google info without freaking out because, honestly, you know, when you Google anything slightly negative, google is like and you're going to die. I know that happens to you too. So she.
Speaker 1:
After that, she continued about her day. She served her clients. She even had a Q&A session where she showed up as her best self. She told me that was actually the best Q&A she had ever hosted with her clients. The same day she was told she was being sued $30,000. Yes, isn't that incredible. She went about her whole day without catastrophizing, without ruminating, without beating herself up, without swirling in all her junk and without all of it. And in fact, when her husband got home from work, she told me she's like I had a whole conversation with him about other things before I even mentioned it and then he was like he had a big react not a big it's hard to do on a podcast like had her visual reaction, like a surprised face, when she said it Isn't that incredible? I mean freaking incredible.
Speaker 1:
So what I want you to really take note of is that this is not how she would have responded before, ever and before working with me I, you know, could have asked her. She would have said this is how I am, similar to the things that you think are just your personality or just who you are. She would have thought those reactions were just how she was. So I want you to really ask yourself where are you telling yourself this is just how I am, where are you spinning? Where are you sitting in struggle because you don't think it gets any better?
Speaker 1:
And I want to remind you life does not have to be this hard. It really doesn't. I promise you, and I hope that as you're listening to this, you feel my heart. I don't want life to be that hard for you. I want you to be able to experience this magic. I really do, genuinely do so.
Speaker 1:
Are you going to let another year go by without doing the inner work?
Speaker 1:
If you are not willing to go there and to feel through the emotions, you will hold yourself back from breakthroughs and the ability to choose your reactions.
Speaker 1:
That's really important. Did you just hear the last sentence that I said? If you're not willing to go there and feel through your emotions, you will hold yourself back from breakthroughs and, ultimately, from the ability to choose your reactions. Okay, so the last thing that Stacy said to me as stuff if I can be okay being sued, I can do anything, and I'm here to say, yes, you freaking can, and it's possible for you too. So DM me or email me the word brave if you're ready to take action and make this your reality, I've got you. Thank you for listening today. If you're ready to heal so that triggering situations no longer control you and so that you can feel empowered, brave and thrive in any situation, dm me the word brave on Instagram and I'll send you a training where you will learn three of the most common mistakes driven women are making that are keeping them stuck in negative emotions, and what you can do instead.