From Resistance to Empowerment with Meagan DeLange
Oct 17, 2023Episode 24
Dr. Stephanie Lopez
What would it feel like to live in a state of constant unease, constantly dodging emotions, conflict, and failure? Our guest, Meagan DeLange, didn't have to imagine, because she lived it. This episode is an intimate exploration of Megan's journey of self-discovery and healing, where she moves from a life of resistance to one of empowerment. Meagan shares her raw and inspiring story of acknowledging and healing her inner child that led to a dramatic transformation, leaving her thrilled about life and her purpose.
Within this episode, we unravel Megan's reality-altering experience that shifted her life from being a foreigner in her own existence to being in tune with her true self. This episode isn't just about Megan's transformation; it's about how personal development can guide you towards achieving your goals. Tune in for a treasure trove of insights that will fill your life with the power of self-discovery.
What would it feel like to live in a state of constant unease, constantly dodging emotions, conflict, and failure? Our guest, Meagan DeLange, didn't have to imagine, because she lived it. This episode is an intimate exploration of Megan's journey of self-discovery and healing, where she moves from a life of resistance to one of empowerment. Meagan shares her raw and inspiring story of acknowledging and healing her inner child that led to a dramatic transformation, leaving her thrilled about life and her purpose.
Within this episode, we unravel Megan's reality-altering experience that shifted her life from being a foreigner in her own existence to being in tune with her true self. This episode isn't just about Megan's transformation; it's about how personal development can guide you towards achieving your goals. Tune in for a treasure trove of insights that will fill your life with the power of self-discovery.
Hi, I'm Dr Steph and I'm here to guide you on your journey to healing from a difficult relationship with your mother, whether she was narcissistic, emotionally immature or just plain toxic. I want you to know that you are in fact not broken and you do not have to suffer from anxiety or explosive emotional reactions like lashing out. You can break the cycle. You are a strong, capable woman who can handle any challenge that comes your way, and I'm going to show you how to have the ultimate control over your reactions so that you are unstoppable. Welcome to the Broken to Brave podcast, welcome back and happy Tuesday If you are listening to this episode on release day.
Speaker 1:
I'm super excited because today I have Megan Dilling with me on the podcast and I'm just really excited to share her journey because she has made so many incredible shifts in such a short period of time. I actually met her earlier this year through Fierce Athletica, who brought me on as a guest speaker to talk to some of their clients about emotions. Surprise, surprise. I mean hopefully I don't steal your thunder here, megan but she has also very recently started a podcast, which I think is super cool, and I'm so excited for you to share more. So let me just turn this over to you and tell us a little bit more about who you are.
Speaker 2:
Yes, hi everybody. My name is Megan. I live in beautiful Utah. I was born and raised here. I have three awesome kids they're 12, 9, and 6 and I'm about to celebrate my 20th anniversary with my husband. Oh yay, so exciting, thank you.
Speaker 2:
And for work. I get the awesome opportunity of being a fitness coach for a company where we help women feel awesome about their lives by starting with the body, so we help them really learn to love and appreciate their beautiful bodies, and I'm so excited to be here today and to share my journey, and thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1:
Yes, thank you for coming on. So let's dive into the past. What was life like before you started your personal development or inner work journey?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, so I would describe my life as small and I didn't even know it. So, like my thoughts were small, my ideas were small, my interactions with other people. I was very avoidance driven, meaning I would avoid emotions. I would avoid conflict or discomfort, avoid failure for sure, like I was just trying to. I was just like, hidden within myself, there was a lot of resistance in my life. I don't know if you've read Steven Pressfield's War of Art book, but he talks about?
Speaker 1:
Oh, I have, but it's been years.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, it keeps us from our true calling in life, and so I wouldn't have maybe recognized it back then. But I was definitely like just distracting myself a lot by through work or numbing emotions and things like that. A lot of self-doubt, very critical.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah, so you said small. If like, what signs would people see to recognize that they too might be? I think you used the word playing small, yeah.
Speaker 2:
I would just say that if their life seems like Groundhog's Day, like it's just the same all the time, they're not really growing. We're changing. Those are the signs that I probably would have picked up on if I would have thought oh, my life is small right now. I think that's how I would have noticed it. It was just same day in and day out, like survival mode. I wasn't thriving.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. And tell us more about the resistance Now that you read that book and you can see oh, I was definitely operating in that way what was coming up for you.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, so things would come along like it would be procrastination or just like distracting myself with something else. And I think inside, like the universe or whatever we want to call it, is like calling to us and trying to get us to live the calling in our lives that we're supposed to, but we avoid it and have that resistance that resonates with me for sure.
Speaker 2:
My view of the world. I just felt like there was like the secret code that I needed to know, that I didn't have, or like a playbook that everybody else had that I wasn't given, and almost like I was a foreigner in my own life that I needed like a translator or a guide to like tell me how to live my life. That's how I viewed the world.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, oh my gosh. Can you think of any specific examples where that showed up?
Speaker 2:
I remember just thinking that I was different, like I thought different. I was in a really fast paced job, which I'll talk about in a second, and I just remember always thinking like why do I take so long to come up with a solution or why am I thinking about this so differently? So feeling different was huge for me and then just feeling like lost and scared and inside myself. So yeah, that foreign feeling a lot.
Speaker 1:
Yes, yes, just thinking about other people who have shared this with me and the phrase of like, you kind of were making yourself wrong. Like it's not a. You said I was taking too long and what's too long? Like according to whom? But in many ways, so many people do this.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, yeah, and I I felt like this buzzing feeling inside I don't know how else to describe it other than like this like feeling like almost like if you have too much caffeine or something like just this like unrestful, like disquieted feeling, and it was constant in my life and I didn't know where that was coming from and I'll talk about that too when I get to like the end and how things have changed. Like I feel like I totally figured that out, which is exciting.
Speaker 1:
That's so exciting. You could share more. Just tell us, take us wherever you want to go.
Speaker 2:
Yeah. So with that feeling I was just mentioning, I guess I can just talk about it now Like I realized, like the movie Tinkerbell, how she's like. She can't really talk, but she's like like in Peter Pan. It was my inner child. I don't know if you remember this, but I had to go back to my inner six year old. That was just like hey, like, hey, hey, hey. And once we went back and we did that exercise of like going back to when I was six and when I felt like neglected and unloved by very great parents but they were busy, you know, and just going back in the giving my inner child what she needed was like a really cool thing that happened.
Speaker 1:
And I don't have that like disquieted feeling anymore.
Speaker 2:
That was so normal for me and I didn't like it, but it was just like oh, I guess this is just my normal, it's just me being anxious, or something.
Speaker 1:
Yes, so that was the part of you that was basically trying to get your attention, like, listen to me. And then, once you did, everything changed, which is kind of mind blowing. It's mind blowing, so just to give a little bit of context. So I came and I was do you want to give this story or do you want to give the context? I was the guest speaker I mentioned a little bit at the beginning, but, yeah, no, I can talk about it.
Speaker 2:
You would like me to? Okay, yeah, and I think I need to preface it with the job that I had before. So I was working for a company for 12 and a half years. I'd worked up the ladder, I felt really loyal and thought I would be there forever in this company.
Speaker 2:
And but there was this time toward the end I don't work there anymore when I just started feeling like stagnant, like I didn't want to go into work. I was dreading it. I felt suffocated but I didn't know what else to do. I didn't know where else I would go, and it just felt like again, I was just meant to do that forever, even though I was feeling this discomfort in it. And we got a new director and I ended up getting let go. And I remember feeling it was a total shock, fully blindsided, and I was just like what is happening right now? Why is this happening to me? And I remember the owner of the company, whom I really loved, was in there within this new director that was firing me and she just said, megan, I'm like pushing you out of the nest and like what a cool thing.
Speaker 2:
But at the time I was like this just sucks, like don't tell me you're pushing me out of the nest. But I'm so grateful for that now because so many people, I think, are stuck in an occupation that they don't like, a life they don't like, and there's nobody like pushing them out of the nest to go fly, and so now I view that as really comforting. And then I was able to meet you through the company that I wanted to jump in.
Speaker 1:
Really quick here. Let me jump in really quick. So I'm going to point out when someone feels stuck and I resonate with that experience because before I did the inner work and I mean I continue to continue to do it on a daily basis before I felt stuck in many situations. And so a neat way to look at this is, when I feel stuck, what choices, conscious or unconscious, am I making that is keeping me stuck? Because most people are never really taught to look at things like that and and like you said, we're not always going to have an opportunity where someone pushes us out of the nest, so to speak, and helps you end up forishing, but sometimes that's not going to happen for people. So whoever is listening today, think about where do I feel stuck? And if I were making choices, what might they be that are keeping me stuck?
Speaker 1:
I love that so good, so helpful.
Speaker 2:
Yes, yeah, so I after, like, while I was still working for this company, I was a client of the fitness company that I currently work with and we focus a lot on that they focused a lot on mindset for me as a client and so I had started to kind of see like, oh, like there's some cool stuff out there, like I just don't know how to get it. And then, when I was like, go from my job of 12 and a half years, I started working for this fitness company that I was the client of, and it was just a whole new world of like possibility. And I remember feeling like I'm here and I want to be here, but I don't know how to navigate this gap.
Speaker 1:
I don't know what to do with it.
Speaker 2:
It's just like awesome, like stretching feeling, but also like whatever, I don't know, I love you. Okay, where's my guide? Like I don't know what I'm doing with this. And I remember the turning point I think for me was a call that we had with our clients and we were talking about limiting beliefs and I was in a really low point and thinking about like all of my limiting beliefs because we were on the call with our clients and I just was like, okay, I've got to do something. And within like a couple of weeks, you came on one of our client calls, like as a teaser, and did it, that call about emotions, and you mentioned feeling broken and I was like it like hit me in the chest and I was like, oh my God, like when the students ready, like the master, here she is.
Speaker 1:
Oh, I just got goosebumps. Oh yes, yes, yes, not that you've, not that you felt broken, but obviously broken to brave podcast. That's why we're here, is because that was my experience and it is so far too many. But just even hearing you say, when the student is ready, like the master will come, the expert will come, the guide will come, I like it. That's the phrase I like. Yes, wow, yes, okay, sorry, keep going.
Speaker 2:
Oh no, you're good. And I just feel like so often we need to know, like I felt like I needed to know a to Z, right, and it's like, no, I just need to know a to B. And then I feel like if you're putting in the work, like the people will come into your lives opportunity At least that was true for me and I've heard it from so many people that if we're just like stepping, like we'll get to our Z and it's probably totally different than we thought it was going to be.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I couldn't agree with that more. So many times I hear, like the way that I hear it phrase is like I just want to feel confident, I just want to like figure out you know what to do and then I'll do it. It's like no, like action creates clarity. You got to take this step and it's just stepping from a to B, yes, and then it creates clarity of where to go from there. So 100 percent with you there.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, so that's how I felt before, like just a that whole little synopsis. Yes, yes, it's so funny. I had to actually go back in my notes because you have us do like a questionnaire when we start working with you in the break program and I've had forgotten so much of what I used to feel like, because it's just such a radical change that I was like, oh, I forgot about that, like unsettled feeling and the fear that I had like it's incredible, like how much we can change in such a short amount of time.
Speaker 1:
So that is so beautiful, megan, I love it. You're like that. You were like oh, my God, I forgot. I felt that, yes, yes, yes, yes, and you said a short period of time, just for clarification for people listening. I think I came and was a guest speaker. Was it in March? Maybe? No, maybe. Maybe we're talking about from like April. April to now, oh and yeah, so April to the end of September, october timeframe.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, so like six months.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's pretty incredible. I just I feel sad. I actually I did an episode last week when I talked about like healing does not have to take a long time and it's not like a check the box, like hopefully healed, done, it's a journey. However, we can take massive, massive shifts or make massive shifts in such a short period of time and I think the current accepted model of talk therapy Often does not create results like that. And it's sad because I've talked to so many women who went to therapy for years, years, and they're like it feels good to get it off my chest, but then I don't really know what to do with everything and I don't know. I feel sad when I hear that.
Speaker 2:
Yes, yes, I have friends in that boat that are doing like talk therapy type things and, yes, years for them too, and I'm like, oh, you need to just do, yeah, this approach come on over. Yeah, yeah, I remember having breakthroughs just even in the first like few weeks. Like it's incredible, like what can happen.
Speaker 1:
Yes, and you showed up so Brave and so open and I think that's something that makes you unique and that's how I knew that you were really ready to, because sometimes people maybe they're not as they're not as ready, and a Bit resistant and not that there's anything wrong with resistance, because it's good to be skeptical and to ask, okay, is this gonna work for me? But you were willing to, like, try the jacket on and just see, does this make a difference for me? Because you could always go back to the way that you were when we started working together, right.
Speaker 2:
Yes, yes, I remember that I was like I will do. I think I was just at the point where I was so sick of feeling how I was feeling that I was like I will try anything and and the methods we use for great.
Speaker 2:
They weren't like crazy, they didn't sound crazy. It felt like so much truth to me. It was like this like coming home, feeling of like it's beautiful, like I feel like I was like coming back to myself, like I already knew these things but like life had like beaten them out of me and you were just like uncovering the truth for me and like taking off the armor. You know like it's so beautiful.
Speaker 1:
Yes, that's exactly it. Yes, yes, because we come out of the womb, you know, just pure love and lights, and then it is armor.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, what was that? Oh, I was just saying we come to the earth so curious too, and I feel like life, like, yeah, a lot of us, and that's like yes, the favorite thing that I've experienced with this is just like my curiosity is like so heightened and it's just so fun it is.
Speaker 1:
Yes, okay, so tell us more about where you are now. How have you the world? How you feel about yourself? What shifted for you?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, so I wake up so excited To live my life now and not that everything's like roses all the time, but I just feel like, yeah, I'm so much more clear on my identity and my purpose in life and and who I am. I'm so much more self-aware. Like I mentioned the feeling like I was different before. Now I realized my differences are so cool, like I have unique talents and abilities to share and I'm not like ashamed of how I'm different and like Excited about how I'm different now. Yes, that's huge. Yeah, it's so refreshing. It's like someone just like breathed life into me again. Um, I like the whole Pandora's box thing, right, like, if we think of ourselves like that, I'm like I want to open this Pandora's box. I want to see everything. Like I love my past now because I know I can go back and like rewrite it into something that serves me, rather than like feeling like a victim to it. It's just so cool.
Speaker 1:
Okay, let's sit here for a second. There are many women that I've spoken with, some that will probably never work with me, some that maybe they will, that are afraid of. Actually, the question that I hear is what will I find if I open Pandora's box? So, with the wisdom that you have now, what would you say to those women?
Speaker 2:
I would say that there's only love there. That's what I experienced. Like it's just, it's like your truest self and you're going to love her. Like it's very liberating to just be able to like shine light on all of you and to see what's there and anything that is in your past. Like you can go back and rework it and do work around it to just make it beautiful. Like there's nothing that you need to leave hidden in you. It's beautiful.
Speaker 1:
Yes, yes, absolutely. And I think about like an old version of me. How did I feel when I heard people say like it's love, and I just I think I found it really hard to believe because I was like, well, maybe they are, but I'm flawed. And so I think what I want you to take away if you're listening right now and you can chime in Megan too is that even if you feel that way, you're wrong and that's what, like you're wrong In the most loving way you are not. Just because you feel flawed or broken or anything else doesn't mean that it's true and that's the beautiful thing.
Speaker 2:
Yes, I love that so much. I totally agree with that. I think it can feel scary, but I think, just approaching it with curiosity and faith, that it's going to be okay, like you can see all the parts of you and love yourself so much.
Speaker 1:
Absolutely Okay. Tell us more about where you're at, what you've discovered, how you feel.
Speaker 2:
Yeah. So where I said my life was small before, I feel like my life is big, like in the best way it feels, just like like that curiosity again and just wondering what else can I do? Like facing fear, like I actually like want to seek failing and seek resistance now and seek discomfort because I know there's awesome stuff on the other side of that.
Speaker 1:
Yes, yes, yes, yes. After doing that through this work, it just opened your mind to like what else is possible.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, it's like the movie the Crudes that they're a little caveman family and they live in their cave and the daughter wants to go out and see like what's in the world, and they're like, no, like you could get eaten. And she's like no, Like I feel like like that where I was living in a cave and I'm like, oh my gosh the world is so big and beautiful and it's not scary. I'm not going to get eaten. I'm going to go out there and like right.
Speaker 1:
Yes, yes, oh my gosh, I love hearing that. What else?
Speaker 2:
Um, yeah, as part of this, I've been able. You mentioned a podcast earlier. I never thought I would be making my own podcast, so I started a podcast with my friend, jen, and it kind of came about in a cool way. We were reading these amazing books and I felt like I was holding water in my hand after I finished one of these awesome books because, like, these ideas were so cool and I'm like, yeah, I'm going to change my life, but it's you can't hold on to water, like it's going to run through your fingers, you know. So we were like, how can we? That's exactly what it felt like to me.
Speaker 2:
It's like, how can we take what we're learning and, like, really like integrate it into our lives? So we decided, if for no one else, for ourselves, to start this podcast about, you know, deep diving into books and just ideas on how to thrive. So the podcast is called freedom to flourish and life beyond. It's full name and we're just going for it. I love the quote what are you going to do with, like, your amazing, beautiful life? It's something along those lines and it's like, yeah, I'm going to just have one of these. I want to, like, live to the fullest.
Speaker 1:
So yeah, and the podcast and recapping all of those learnings is going to help you integrate it and embody it, because one of the best ways to do that is to teach, and essentially that's what you'll be doing. I can't wait to listen. Do you have an estimated release date? Or, yeah, launch date? That's the word I was looking for.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, it's, it's up right now so people can listen to it. It's on YouTube. We haven't gotten it on like a podcast forum like set up yet, but we do have a YouTube channel.
Speaker 1:
So yeah, I can't wait to check it out. Yeah, it's been so fun. So, yeah, you never thought you would do something like that before. No, never.
Speaker 2:
It would never would have lost my mind, and that's what I love about that. A to Z, like Z will be so different and so awesome than anything you think it will be.
Speaker 1:
So, yes, there's no way that you could have anticipated. Yeah, and still all of us. Life just keeps getting better, yeah.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and there's this quote that I think by a roomie. It says what you're seeking is seeking you, and I'm like I feel like that used to be like oh sure, that's, that's cute. But now that I've done all of this work and like I really believe that's true, like the universe inspires, like show up for you and you start to show up for yourself. So it's really cool.
Speaker 1:
I really agree. All of the you know inner work and universe quotes make a lot more sense after doing. Doing the work, yes, yeah, yeah. So if someone was asking herself someone who's high achiever and has moments where she feels broken and she's asking herself, like why am I like this? What advice would you give her?
Speaker 2:
I love this question so much because that was me and that's so many people I know and yeah.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
I would just say it that's not who you are. It's not who you are and your life is able to be radically different, so different than than you think, and your life is waiting, your family, the world is waiting for you. We need everyone right, and especially these strong women who, like, know who they are, and I just feel like we were just beautifully designed to have like joy in our lives. Um, so that's that's what I would say that you, you don't have to live a small life, and it's so beautiful to pursue like this, all this inner work, because it's amazing and it will happen faster. Changes will happen faster than you think.
Speaker 1:
Yes, give yourself the gift so that you can feel that joy. Yeah, I love that. Thank you so much, megan. I appreciate you coming on today and, for all the listeners, I'm going to link your podcast, freedom of the Floorish, so that you can start listening to hers and maybe save yourself some time. You don't have to read the books, you just get the takeaways. Um right, yeah, well, it's a good time. All right, thank you so much. I will talk to you soon. Yes, thank you so much. So, thank you. Thank you for listening today. If you're ready to heal, so that triggering situations no longer control you and so that you can feel empowered, brave and thrive in any situation, dm me the word brave on Instagram and I'll send you a training where you will learn three of the most common mistakes driven women are making that are keeping them stuck in negative emotions, and what you can do instead.